For You

 

 

I've watched more tears

Slide down your cheek

Than I could ever count

I've listened as you trusted me

With each and every secret

I stood by your side

As you said your last goodbye

But still you tell me,

I don't understand?

I know my pain

Isn't much like yours

Still I feel it

All the same,

No matter what you say

You locked everyone out

And wouldn't let me back in

You said that I abandoned you

To handle this on your own

But I tried to stay with you

Tried for so long

But you kept pushing

And pushing and pushing

Till I lost my grip

Remember that night,

When you came to me crying

And I said I'd never leave?

It wasn't a promise,

just a soft conviction

Sure, I was mad

Maybe still am,

But if you ever really need me

I'll always pull through

In the end.

Author's Note

For my cousin.

It took a little longer then I thought it would to let go of the past.

Reviews

[Alexandria Reece]

You locked the emotion of both you and your cousin into this poem what seems like effortlessly. It's vivid and relatable, you make the reader feel that tinge of rejected bitterness that all of us have been shocked with by someone we were close to. The poem doesn't droop anywhere or get lost on tangents, it's fluid and well thought-out. I think my only suggestion is for: 'Then I could ever count". I believe 'than' is the word you may have meant to use. Correct me if I am wrong. Here's an explanation of then versus than, because I know it's a hard concept and I noticed it in your haiku too: http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/thanthen.html

:) A wonderful poem, Lady. Thank you for sharing it. You're a very talented young writer, much better than I was at your age and not undermined in glory by we elder-ones on here :) keep it up!

[Skye]

Thank you so much for you review, I really really appreciate it. Sorry about the then/than mistake, I seem to do that a lot xD
Thanks again :)

[Alexandria Reece]

Don't be sorry, I don't usually correct people. I only correct them when I feel like they're better than the mistake they made and you certainly are! :) It's always a pleasure to review good poetry.

[Forever Hidden]

Amazing, like always dear.

[Skye]

Thank you :)

[Forever Hidden]

My pleasure.

[RachelReaper]

Very pretty. The only criticism I have is that you go back to fix some of your words or add a word in that seems to be missing. Such as, "I've watched more tears

Slid down your cheek" I believe it should be "Slide". But other that that, very sad and pretty at the same time.

[Skye]

Thanks so much, and i'll fix that really quick XD

[RachelReaper]

Cool :)

[Lina Grey]

Such an emotional and meaningful piece. I can relate to this whole-heartedly, both as the one pulling through and the one being pulled through for. It's beautiful, Skye, and very touching. Thank you.

[Skye]

Thanks for your review, Lina. I appreciate it.

[Jon Settle]

Very well written. I'd be crazy to say I can't relate to anything conveyed in this poem.

[Skye]

Thanks, I was a little upset at myself when I wrote this.

[Jon Settle]

I've written several poems when I was upset.... I'm just debating whether I want to post them or not...

[Skye]

Whether or not you do is actually the hardest part.

[Jon Settle]

Yea i understand that... I haven't even let my closest friend see any of them

[Dark Tower]

Such a beautiful piece. Well written Skye. Very well written.

[Skye]

Thank you

[Sam Gregory]

Wow... emotional is an understatement. Such meaningful words and slot of heart must of been put into this. I pictured someone sayin this to themselves in a dark room, vividly pictured it in my head. Keep up the good work

[Sam Gregory]

*alot

[Skye]

That's actually what happened, though it was said on paper not aloud.