A battle for slumber.

A struggle regarding insomnia that only the unfortunate have been cursed to experience. I would appreciate feedback.

The night gasps as I exhale, so carefully, a final smattering of smoke. Unseen nocturnal creatures etch and claw at the natural timber surrounding our plot, feeding on sadistic delight in the fear of mortal minds who may lay in their homes.

I am visibly uneasy as I seem unable to conquer the almost impossible task of deciphering the relationship shared between the early hour and I. Dependent on such ghostly times as they steal slumber by the minute, apparently aware of such inflexible circadian rhythms that may be seen as my vicious vice. An escape unknown to me, as I lack the tools and keys to destroy the wall of forced awakening. My thoughts slip so suddenly, eyelash batting becoming more infrequent while I feebly attempt to drown your advances, consuming various bitter though numbing sludge. Yet, you have trumped my childish defense with a flick of your ace; a tactical weakness I cannot outdo.

Previously heard scratches and hideous claws increase their tension on twisted bark, myself sinking to knees and praying to any entity that may take pity upon me; alas such pleading will fade through your iron curtain. One final offensive card in my withered deck must only be the enemy of thou; a dawn to slash through what I have not been able to see.

Morning appears to be a luxury that I will never indulge in again.

Author's Note

If you happen upon grammatical errors, please disregard as at the time of writing I am in a bit of mental fog.

Reviews

[Akoka Folami]

As Greek mythology states, gods gifted mortals with "sweet sweet slumber"... Intricately spoken, Werthers :)

[Ink Addict]

Hello.

I read the piece twice, although usually I prefer to give poetry much more attention than just a twice over; however, I find myself pressed for time yet I wished to leave a review.

Insomnia is a b***h isn't it? Straight up cruel and most purposefully I've decided, defiant and resilient. It [insomnia] seems to revel in torture for mere pleasure and the more it makes a person suffer the more it thrives. As if gathering its strength off each lost, precious moment of sleep; growing stronger as its victims become weaker.

The reason why I provided my analogy as I did is because that is how I view Insomnia in all its cruelty and your piece completely exemplified exactly how I perceive this demon.

What I enjoyed most about this was your use of non-conventional descriptive words and phrases to describe your personal experience. The inner-turmoil you suffer is not lost on the reader and is adequately and interestingly portrayed throughout. The piece exhibits fluidity and ability to express conscience and subconscious thought. I liked it, it was a joy to read and I look forward to more from you.

*as i'm unfamiliar if there is a particular rating system on this site i'm leery of assigning a point value; although please accept my 80/100 as extremely good*