And I'm Ready

Finding a solution is all that this is, I say to myself to tempt my head.

Like an itch that needs to be scratched... no that sounds nauseous,

like a Professor f*****g a university student.

It's got to be done, it's fate, it's the only conclusion to be reached.

Like a lonely, bored housewife and a martini maker,

yes, perfect!

But why do I feel so weak, so incapable.

It's got to be done, its got to be done,

I chant it so it's embedded.

When there is a problem Ed, you have got to fix it.

You have got to fix it for your wife and your daughter,

and your future twin sons.

You have to protect them, it's your f*****g job.

Her obsession had driven us to this,

stood on her lawn at 3.27am on the dot.

I'm 7 minutes late  on my end of the bargain.

She isn't right.

She is wrong.

I conclude this,

and I'm ready...

Author's Note

Any reviews would be helpful, I am not sure whether to write the ending or let the reader find their own interpretations. Please let me know your thoughts!

Reviews

[JC]

This hits us strong and hard right out of the gate, images of unstoppable desires and the sometimes freight train course of life certain decisions will make... as a poem and as is it is perfect for being provocative, coy and thought provoking... as a potential novel it is a great beginning to lure us in...either way it hit me like all your others.

[Alex]

Thank you for your opinions on this piece, I'm glad it affected you! Yes I will definitely return to this piece of writing in the future, thanks again.

[RileyRedding]

At the core of this piece is something enigmatic, and thought provoking.
Keep working with it!

[Alex]

Thank you for your thoughts, I agree that it needs work but I'm glad it caught your attention. Thanks again!

[Lily]

I like the mystery behind it. I think the lack of information works up to a point but the realness of it leaves me wanting to know more! As a short piece i think it works well like this, i could also see a longer, more detailed story developed around it- so if there's more to it for you definitely do this!

[Alex]

Thank you! Yes, it's quite frustrating to read haha. Thanks for sharing your opinions, I completely agree with you that it can be adapted as well as left alone- I plan to drag it out abit further soon! Much appreciated :)

[sakdjklasjdklasjd]

I like how real it is. Well done!

[Alex]

I'm very glad you liked it- thank you for reviewing!

[Haley Wilson]

I think you should let readers draw their own conclusion. This is a stunning short tale though! :)

[Alex]

Thank you for your opinion, its very helpful! Much appreciated :)

[Shon Harvis]

I like the mystery behind this. Can be thought of several ways. For me, I see a wife struggling to keep her family together while another woman is trying to pull it apart. The last four lines for me add to the mystery "A will I stay or go because I am ready to let you walk" feeling.

I hope I am not way off here. I like it though

[Alex]

Yes, I'm glad you understood the story and were able to draw conclusions! Thank you for your thoughts.

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Feeling and situations are quite beautifully described.
Like an itch that needs to be scratched and many more
Background Story is also very nice.
keep sharing maam

[Alex]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it- much appreciated :)

[Rene Salinas]

Hello Alexandra!

I rarely get into this because people often ask about getting reviews but what they mean is:"Could you say something nice about my writing please?" So as you requested one and at the risk of yet another episode I will tr my best.

Writings have forms like it or not. Even those trying to write beside, above, in between and feel that they're indeed at the avant - garde of writing if they're serious enough about what they do they will have a intellectual foundation. I'm presented wit a story that seems to want to run fervorously to it's vaguely related sibling Poetry. All the faithfull servants of writings which seem to be used by you , punctuation so on so forth seem conciously guided towards given the reader a linear sort of emotional ride. It came to me very fluidly. In my head I ould have imagined this font 12 on times, imprision the stanzas look-alikes replaced by prose - spine power with fervorous punctuation. The theme. Naught naughty... But like my good friend Mike Patton sang so eloquently when I was younger: "It's always fun until somone gets hurt" The situation described here is a dangerous cocktail and although we do not know how it will progress that right there is as much as one could say. The emotional rollercoaster that the "youngest" will embark is not really developed yet. As a man "only another brick in the wall" yet another conquer. So although I relate to the obsessive stand. He is just projectin what he cannot , sorry let's re - phrase , should not have.

Thankyou for the request

[Alex]

Haha I understand completely your hesitation reviewing an ask however, I really just needed some help with it to benefit my writing! Thank you so much for your constructive feedback, I completely agree that I haven't distinguished enough from poetry and I think that's were the struggles arise from. I also think, as you said, that it needs to give the reader more progress on the story as it relies too much on the imagination so I will definitely be adding to it. I cant thank you enough for your thoughts on this piece, it has been truly beneficial, much appreciated!

[SEO]

This is a really intriguing story but I think I want to know where it's headed and maybe a little more background if that's possible. I think having a vague conflict is ok but it's not quite setup enough for me where I can really draw my own conclusions. But I do think you embody this character well; you understand his conscious completely it seems.

[Alex]

I agree, I think it needs more body to it also so thank you for your constructive help! Much appreciated :)

[Mary Fafard]

Really well written and crisp. "It's got to be done" is perfect and I enjoy that it's repeated. Its a piece that makes you think and I want to read more!

[Alex]

Thank you very much for the review and sharing your thoughts on it! Much appreciated :)