Hear what I am not saying

"I am here" I want to cry
But I stand silent
Wishing I could say something
Scars have tied me
To the emptiness I feel
I want to reach out
To let someone hold my hand
But I find trust elusive

 

Even those I know care
I can not reach out to
I keep thinking if they only knew
The tangled distorted thoughts
That wind through my brain
They would turn away
Leaving me alone
So I turn away from what I need most

 

I stand alone in a crowd
People surround me
And yet I am solitary in my thoughts
I smile and chatter and let them believe
All is well inside and out
Yet the trembling child
Longs to reach out a hand and scream
"Hear what I am not saying!"

 

There are things I would love to say
What I can not say
For fear they would turn from me
Laugh at me, or think me a fool
I wish I could share my heart
Share the pain which has hurt so long
I go on wearing the mask I wear so well

 

Please...

Hear what I am not saying