Maybe tomorrow

I asked the sun to shine on me,

it laughed in clouded chuckles,

spit on me in dampened drips and

screamed at me in thunderbolt rantings

Then it brought the moon out to play,

inviting the stars to gather around

 

So I found a spot on a hill and waited

beneath a large evergreen tree

wondering why it was always so dark

When you appeared, sat down next to me,

put your arms around me and kissed me…

my world became instantly bright

 

The sun then asked us to shine on it,

 

“Maybe tomorrow,” we answered

Reviews

[Matching Socks]

Willweb! I love this!

When you appeared, sat down next to me,
put your arms around me and kissed me…
my world became instantly bright

And this line in particular.

The sun then asked us to shine on it,

[willweb]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem. I am excited you liked this.

[Matching Socks]

I did, a lot, and here's why:
That person who wraps their arms around you in the poem could be anyone. Lover, mother, sister, friend, father grandmother, son, daughter. I like that I don't feel boxed into inserting a particular person in there to feel I can relate. That makes it your poem, but everyone else's too.

The person that brightens my day may be different for you, or anyone. May change day to day even. But I think we all have ONE person who we need to wrap us in their arms from time to time. : )

The person who makes it all seem not so bad.
So I think it's a great poem because it has that versatility.

Does that make sense? : )

[willweb]

Yes it does make sense and thank you again. If I may...do you think the poem would be better suited without the last line? I was up in the air with that. Not sure it needs it and might be better without it.

[Matching Socks]

No, the last line is brilliant. It says (well to me anyway):

Happy to share but not right now.
Right now WE need this moment for ourselves.

[willweb]

Okay, thanks so much for your wonderful input Ance. I will leave it as is.

[Matching Socks]

It's perfect.