idlization

i ment for this to be a poem but the more i read it i think im ranting

The forest light shoots through the trees

a body lays slain on the ground

the scent of a shatter life lingers

 

life continues everyday

who are we to decide the fate of them

we do anyway

humans sacrife each other for there so called "gods"

then why do they give us life?

we pass through pergitory

all our deeds shown

but we get forgotten

 

we look towards the sea

cant think clearly

the water rushes in

the high tide and low tide change it

then why cant we change ourselves

human...this is all we are good for

 

you want me to beilve in something that has no proof?

not to kill? yet we do on a daily bases

not to steal? yet were ripped off any chance people get

 

we shall fade... fade away

fall into darkness and feel the depth of pain

be fearful of the future

yet live for the day

 

 

were all fucked!!!

Author's Note

please excuse the last line XD

Reviews

[Sarah J. Kelleher]

Honestly, the poems where we rant are most likely our best, because we're just belting out everything that we're feeling all on one huuuuge table. The last line is completely acceptable for that reason, and gets your point across with a finality.

I noticed that you've got a few grammatical errors... For one, in the first stanza "the scent of a shatter life lingers". I think shatter is supposed to be "shattered", it seems to make more sense that way (or at least my brain made sense of it that way). Another two, in the same line of the third stanza. The word "sacrifice" is misspelled and the wrong version of the word "there" is used. When you are talking about possession, you'd use "their". When you are, for example, pointing to a specific place you'd say "there". The word "purgatory" is also misspelled. (By the way, whenever I say a word's misspelled, the one that I put in quotes is the correct form of the word. :) "Believe" and "basis" were misspelled... (Sorry, just going through...)

I quite enjoyed your last two lines, "Be fearful of the future, yet live for the day." So, so contradictory and yet... Well done. :)