The Girl That Was

Now this is the story of the girl that was,

And I'm telling you it just because.

This is the story of how I destroyed her,

How I turned her into a mesmerizer.

Now she was pretty, don't get me wrong,

But she could have been more with just a little thong.

Now maybe I'm being just a little sarcastic,

But damn, was she classic!

She had brown hair and big eyes,

Fat legs and hippo thighs,

She was sweet as candy,

And her name was Brandy.

She could have found a nice man,

If she had a good tan;

Could have had some friends,

If she hadn't made amends.

So I touched her up a bit,

Taught her how to actually sit,

And I so completely rearranged

Her ugly and her strange.

And if you look at her today,

You might just have to pray.

Because can't you see?

She is actually me.

Author's Note

Random poem I got off of a writing prompt. :3 The first and third line are the prompt.

Reviews

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I have one friend who could relate to every line of this except the very last. She'd say you are spot on that the story kills her, even though it wasn't this at all to blame. Anyway, sorry, I think that this piece is great, you definitely got the story down and the emotion makes it scream off of the page. I think that some of your rhymes are a little bit forced, but other than that nicely penned.

[Silent Wolf]

Thank you. :) yeah, some were a bit forced, but I love rhyming.

[RileyRedding]

Even with a writing prompt tying you down you still manage to exude charisma.
This was a really fun read.
Keep up the great work.

[Silent Wolf]

Thanks. :) actually, I think I used multiple writing prompts with this one. :)

[DoormanDan]

I really enjoyed reading this! I could easily imagine this being a rap song. It's nicely written out. Good job! :)

[Silent Wolf]

Thanks. :) but, to be honest, I hate rap...

[DoormanDan]

Yeah, i feel you there. the only rappers i like are eminem and Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park :)

[Silent Wolf]

lol fun. :)

[John Thomas]

Interesting story in this poem. I didn't see the twist at the end coming. Great work.

[Silent Wolf]

Lol, thanks. :)

[John Thomas]

You're welcome. :)

[Laura Lynn]

I like the rhyme here; it's nice to feel a transformation of the self in a good way when we have done something that we feel is an accomplishment!

[Silent Wolf]

Yeah. :) :)

[lifethroughwords]

interesting, i enjoyed reading

[Silent Wolf]

Thanks. Lol, it was just a random idea.

[lifethroughwords]

what are you saying in the poem?

[Silent Wolf]

Just that the girl changed. It's a pretty straightforward poem, I think.