Becoming?

Once believed

twice deceived

fell far from myself.

 

Where have I gone?

What am I now?

Memorabilia on a shelf?

 

Reflections

in the mirror,

barely resembled me.

 

Sickness in my thoughts,

a hole in my heart,

defeated, on my knees.

 

Memories

and blackouts collide,

Sift through the crud..

 

Friends

and foes

I watched them drink my blood.

 

More alone

than I'd ever felt,

I walked the endless mile

Now searching for a meaning,

and for a truth

beyond a drunken smile.

I may not find,

I may not learn,

I may not get things straight.

But no longer will I 

spend my time

becoming what I hate!