SWALLOW YOU WHOLE

To say that nothing is left for you,
is to utter quite nothing at all.
You rose above others -
with make believe powers,
and smirked -
as you watched each one fall..
Now the walls of your sins have all risen above you
Regret sings a deafening tune -
as the prison you really deserve most eludes you,
may fear be your permanent tomb..
Ask not who the bell of hypocrisy tolls for,
when each accusation is true..
Here's hoping the nightmares swallow you whole,
as they swallowed our innocence too..

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

Very strong wording in this piece. You have made great use of metaphors and personification to add depth to such a common topic. You've made these words your own and made them dark and, yes, "venomous". This poem drove my eyes to the end. It is intense, and it is huge. Very well done.

This poem strikes me as a cleansing piece, used to get something off of the writer's chest, while simultaneously creating a superior poem. We all need to do something of the sort every once in a while.

[M. L. F.]

Thank you Clifford. I am glad you appreciated the venom use here. It was very cleansing. I was a bit worried about posting it, as it is so "fierce" / damning in tone, but I am glad I let it go. Thanks for the read and the great review.
Misty

[...]

Very poetic and haunting. Words like wings what can carry me to the strange land. Twisting poem with twisting end

[Reclaimed]

Whoa... that's pretty f*****g awesome.

[M. L. F.]

LOL.. Thanks ;)
..Misty

[elvenom]

This was quite well structured, but I especially liked the author's note.

[M. L. F.]

Thank you very much. I am glad you liked the piece. Thank you for the read and the review.
Misty..

[Takeshi Yamada]

Wow...here you come, Misty, swinging full force! It's a great poem and the venom is necessary sometimes, like Zswed says below. I slipped into the "you" and both enjoyed and shivered with the image of the "walls of my sins" rising high above me, hard gray stone walls shooting up to the sky while I pick around in a compost pile (for some reason!) in the shadows of my tomb of fear and refuse. Powerful image and I don't envy the subject of the poem one bit. Well done!

[M. L. F.]

Lol, Thanks Takeshi.. Yeah, Sometimes the bucket overflows and it's time to let it out. Thanks for the review.. I am glad the images were realistic for you, that was my aim. :)

[Autonomous]

Well, this was kind of dark, not something I pegged you for writing but nonetheless, it is a great poem. Also sometimes spewing venom is how people cope with pain so it's perfectly fine to express it in a poem. Keep up the Great work!

[M. L. F.]

Thanks Zwsed... Yes, sometimes it reaches a boil and has to come out.
..Misty

[Autonomous]

I know what you mean sometimes you just have to vent out the anger or you feel you might explode inside. Good luck with whatever or whoever it is that inspired you to write this poem.

[M. L. F.]

Thanks... I asked him to exit stage right already, but the poetry fits the crimes I assure you. I guess the saying that truth is stranger than fiction is really true sometimes.. Thanks again for the read.

[PhoenixDown]

Very interesting perspective. Gripping. You held my attention and I love the honesty draped over all the darkness here. One for all.

[M. L. F.]

Thanks for the read and the review. I'm glad the piece held your attention.
..Misty