Reflection

Something I wish to do in the near future. In the meantime...

She just sat there,
On the long marble staircase,
Watching the rain,

Her mind lost in thoughts,
Her eyes staring into unheard oblivion,
Her fingers gently caressing,
Three small trophies in her lap,

Calm resonating music,
Soft earphones in her ears,
A large velvet hoodie draped over her head,
And a smile on her lips,

As the rain teased down her outstretched fingers,
Dropping into puddles at her feet,

“What a day” she thought to herself,
And smile once again.

Author's Note

This piece isnt what I normally write. It has a lot of blank and missing ideas and thoughts to it. But I suppose that one beauty of it. The reader can fill in those blanks with whatever they feel like at the moment and create their own meaning.
Haha my mood swings are really getting the better of me. Please tell me what you think. Thank you =]

Reviews

[Hatchling]

short and sweet to the point. Good Job

[Collette Paige]

This is nice and simple. It doesn't give much detail, which can be a good thing at times. It doesn't shove many thoughts at once in my face, which is hard for some writers (including me) to do. I liked it a lot but one thing you could work on is, though some gaps you left out made the story better, there are other things that could have been added to make it even better.
Overall, I love it
~Critique because I love~

[JUSTWRITING]

Wow! That's a really good poem! Her mood and her thought are vague but it kind of describes her. You're right; this isn't what you normally write, but it's really good. You have talent!

[Rosalynd]

Ithink this poem is sorta sad, not quite matching with the trophies, music, and smile.

[seeeker78]

I find this poem very thought provoking, which is the entire reason I read poetry, I can't help wondering who "She" is, where she was that day, were she is going etc.
Excellent

[Inci]

what a calm n nice poem ...i like it

[tonymad11392]

I really thought that there was a simply, sublime, beauty present in this poem. The language really heightens the images you are trying to convey

[E. R. Rawding]

it sounds like an intro to a story, which is great. it also lets the reader fill in a lot of blanks, but it gives them enough info so that they can do so without exactly guessing. nice work :)

[Bonnie Hines]

Totally awesome! I really love the description you made of the girl sitting with her trophies!

[LittleMadGirl]

It actually sounds like a prologue .. which ios good, verry goood
I don't really like poems that answer all the questions. I think poetry is for dreamers so it must leave you space to dream and you did a good job!