Even if it Kills me

It hurts to be so close to you,
all this pain you put me through,
The blood you draw from me.
Yet I can't stand to be away,
Ihave to be near you everyday,
no matter how muchI bleed.
You can take away my wings,
and every single thing,
I've ever worked for.
But as long as you stay,
and never run away,
i'll keep on loving you stronger than before.
Even though you hurt me bad,
with you here I could never be sad,
I'd rather be trapped than free,
But only if you're the one who holds the key,
So by cupids arrow,
I'll love you forever...
Even if it kills me.

Reviews

[Max]

First off good job writing this, that is the hardest part and the only way to fail is to not try. Second off you obviously have this form of poetry down. It is compelling and strait forward and i like that, but i think you can go deeper. Another revision where some of the words don't rhyme maybe, showing the disjunction that the said person makes the subject of the poem go through or maybe pauses. Not that this is bad in any way mind I simply challenge you to do even better. Keep writing my freind.

[Lyzzy Redd]

This is awesome! I really get the meaning of this piece!! I think others could really relate to it and I love how you wrote it. =)