Drifter

A Poem I wrote a while ago

Slow silent drifter,
Walking into the rain
Slow silent drifter,
Never feels any pain

Slow silent drifter,
All alone he will be
Slow silent drifter,
Alone, you will see

Slow silent drifter,
No family, no friends, just him
Slow silent drifter,
Guilty as sin

Slow silent drifter,
Has given up on love
Slow silent drifter,
Love has given up on he

Author's Note

This was short, but I still thought it was a pretty good poem.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but although repetition does play a high role in your piece, I get the feeling that by the end of it there's perhaps a little too much repetition, and it starts to wear on the reader after about the second stanza, especially considering every other line is the same. Perhaps shorten it a little?

[Drake]

Thanks. Yeah, I might edit it abit.

[Katherine S.]

I really like this, it's lyrical, and it has a hint of darkness to it. Nicely written. :)

[Drake]

Thanks Sweetie, your review means alot. :)

[Katherine S.]

You're welcome. :)

[Drake]

:)