late last night..

i woke up late last night

to find that you were on my mind,

to find that i could hardly breath

and that you were the reason why

i woke up late last night

to find that my heart was broken,

and that i lost my second try

and that  my love was nothing more than an old,used tocken

 

i woke up from a deap sleep

to find my face wet from tears

with a salty trail that they had left for years

i woke up from a deap sleep

to find that my chest was bleeding

and that all this time i had been blind

barley ever seeing

 

so here i sit

with tear that go drop,drip

and my mind playing memories of you and me

flying high and free

 

i used to believe that you were the one i wanted

but now i see your the one i needed

i try to cover up these scars you left

but lately they have seem to be  bleedin.

 

so....

 

every night i cry myself to sleep

to wake up in the mornin with a salty mask left on me

i cover up all this pain,

so one day i will see it again

 

im sorry for the pain i have caused you

but lately you have been causing me pain too

every night i look to the stars and the moon

and say dear lord, what to i do?

 

no answers have come about yet

but i know my lost love will never forgive and forget

so i will lay here in a pile of pain

hopeing someday it'll be stitched up again.

 

I mIsS yOu SoOoOoOoOo MuCh! :(  

 

Author's Note

sorry for the errors, and for the jumping around of everything...
i had so many diffrent ideas i just need to get them out of my head!!!
please comment, and i hope you understand what i was going for, and enjoy!<3

Reviews

[manifesto]

I can feel the heartbreak and desolation in this piece, and the rhythm makes the pain beat in sync with a broken heart. Beautiful writing!

[paradise]

very good poem! :)

[MetBySunlight]

Beautifully written (:

[Thea]

"every night i cry myself to sleep
to wake up in the mornin with a salty mask left on me
i cover up all this pain,
so one day i will see it again"
These lines just got right into me! Anyway, a very nice piece of writing! Well done!
:)))

[Team_Jaward_Gale]

this write is so nice and emoitional i think

[Summer'sBreeze]

i love this piece
good job!

[~ Stefanie ~]

I didn't think you jumped around at all! I liked the flow to this piece... so if you considered it jumping around... well then I think it was perfect for what you were trying to get at in this poem.
A few spelling errors that if they were corrected would make this piece 100%
"that my love was nothing more than an old,used tocken" tocken should be 'token'
"barley ever seeing" barley should be 'barely'
other than those minor misspellings I really liked the piece and I thought you did a great job pouring out your emotions!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

I know how this feeling exactly is...
and how it arises..
you caoture it so well...

[_]

heehee i understand the feeling of trying to get a poem put of your head and it seems quick paced but your poem was so beautiful and heart-felt, i almost didn't believe this was written in a rush. great job! :)