A Party Without Balloons

A silly poem about the morning after.

I fell asleep in a bed of roaches multiplied by stains of a human design, bed sheets traced with ashes when dreams of dancing ladies delight in a drag of my cigarette. 

Voices fall upon white walls rung with booze stained frames. The night before like the nights of many, play host to faces I hate and mouths that fellate. I peer through the cracks in the wall, but don't see my enemies. Only the Red Sea remains ready to part for my bloodshot eyes, but in it I stand - red cup in hand.

Author's Note

Thoughts and comments are always appreciated.

Reviews

[Stefano Segnan]

Before I comment and review, I would like to know as to why do you consider this to be poetry or a poem? In short what is poetry for you? Now, depending on your answer you can decide if the fallowing is useful for you or not: in my opinion, there is not a single element that could define this as a poem. It's a short story, an excellently described one with skillful imagery. But it is not a poem at all. For it to be a poem there should be more rhythmic elements, or a different writing style. For me this is prose, and the style is also prose.

[Xuru]

At times I have difficulty looking at my own work and identifying what type of animal it is.

I might begin a creative work with the intent being a short story, but on occasion it grows as something else that I can no longer identify. My weakness remains as my inability to put a leash on it and shutdown that other part of my brain.

Thanks for the in depth review and not being afraid to jab me with a fork a couple times.

[Stefano Segnan]

That is the reason why I asked. Can you sing, or "half-sing", this piece in your head? I cannot. This is the reason why I do not think this is a poem. Nonetheless, it's a well described sensation with vivid imagery, so really good work there

[Jason Damstra]

An interesting read to be sure, the reality of it all is dark and uncomfortably sad. Excellent job old bean.

[Xuru]

Thank you Jason.

[Ruth]

I really like this...has a touch of the surreal as the morning after often does...the imagery is unique and layered...dimensional...superb :)

[Xuru]

Always appreciate the kind words Ruth.

[Nicolás Cardona]

This is a very seedy set up. And I've never been acquainted with the word "fellate" until now. It made me laugh a bit. You also included a red solo cup, which is perfect for this poem. There are some descriptions that could use some explaining but overall it is an interesting read.

[Xuru]

"Seedy"

I like that.

[SmittyJas]

Interesting write keep writings I will keep reading

[Xuru]

Thanks for the kind words Smitty.

[M. L. F.]

There is a lot of imagery here... Maybe not that happy of imagery, but it is assuredly real. I think a writers job is to put his reader in his shoes, (or his room), as the case may be here. lol... If you can make the image real like a photograph inside your readers mind, yet allow them the room to imagine a bit for themselves what that entails... then you have touched the sky.
... Misty

[Xuru]

Invoking emotion through a few words.

Thanks Misty.

[PhoenixDown]

Finally.... a unique writer.

[Xuru]

What we all wish to be.

[PhoenixDown]

What most pretend to be. ...something most never really explore being.

Honesty & clarity with the ability to magnify and make grand. Very well done.