Saturday

bleh

In those dusty dawn moments,

When your warmth pressed into my back

Defining the near-perfection with which,

We fit against one another,

I forgot,  

That there was a world,

Living and breathing,

Outside those walls,

Cold and real and iridescent.

When dusk tickled us with its warm breeze,

And your fingertips burned trails along my spine

Like a scribe writing out tales to be told

For a million lifetimes,

I forgot,

That there was a world,

Real and intense,

Waiting outside your walls,

To tear me away from our dream.

 

In those gauzy moments

Like morning dew,

I swear I was floating,

Lost in you.

Reviews

[Lavon Forkeeps]

This is absolutely beautiful. It could be me, as I've been here before. There is so much happening outside of those walls, but you've no reason to care. What better thing is there to do but savor that dreamy moment for as long as it lasts. I love your description in this piece. Thank you.

[BrokenButterfly]

I love this! The image is of a moment that seems so still, but the pace of the piece is very quick and the discord speaks to the tension between savoring the moment and returning to reality. Very well done!

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

Totally ethereal and and sensually simplistic in its beauty. I love the soft glow of this poem and how you weave the imagery very well. There in the bare intimacy; your use of wording was well conducted.

Lovely poem. Truly a favorite of yours
Excellent write

LW

[JC]

damn you're good, great metaphors, gauzy moments... you have recreated a moment most of us know and have felt and missed, when you want the world to cease existing in reality, or when our rooms and beds are more real than anything else in our lives.

[Adora.xo]

Wow! Thank you very much Jason :) I try my best

[MoriartyMesa]

Being a musical mind. This came across near https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIgOL21S98o I might be wrong, but the words and the music fits.

Of course you will read the words with the video in the back ground,



trust me it flows

[A. Amos]

Your poetry is deep and meaningful, I love the last lines...splended my friend!

[Jessica Fronter]

that was a sweet and melancholy poem. :) I liked it.