War

Another bonus mark History poem

War

 

They pamper their weapons,

And kill the child,

They blindly storm their ways to destruction,

And the crowds go wild.

 

They kiss their bullets,

Before tearing into a young man’s heart,

They shout with glee at their victory,

But the fun has yet to start.

 

They gently wipe their blades,

Dying to carve it into another set of eyes,

They growl menacingly in expectation,

And watch as the enemy dies.

 

They caress their weapons lovingly,

Before using them to destroy families and lives,

And they smile with insane bliss,

As they rape and kill the mother’s and wives.

 

They embrace their inner demons,

And kill the misunderstood sinner,

“This is how the world will end,

Not with a bang but a whimper.”[1]

---

[1] The Hollow Men by T.S. Eliot

Author's Note

Tell me what you think D=

Reviews

[Ahmad Alhour]

Well-written piece, the rhythm is normal and the poetic schema take the framework of free-form poetry.

Nice work, and the message is totally true yet expressive.
I enjoyed reading it :)

[ChristianM]

I think you wrote an awesome poem and the props to Elliot was hand in hand with your poem because if I hadn't read Elliot's stuff before I would have assumed it was meant to be there. What I'm saying is you did his quote justice by creating a worthy poem that's just as good in my opinion. You are a true artiste Adora.

[Alessander]

I like the details like "kiss their bullets? and "they gently wipe their blade" (bayonet?), and the stanzas (abcb) has a musicality to it, even though it is not strictly metered. The only negative I see is that the diction can become a little to abstract or preachy, demons and sinners specifically come to mind, but you mostly shy away from such terms.

I also really like the T.S. Eliot allusion, but I'm not sure about ending it on another poet's ending...hmmm...it kinda steals the show, if u know what I mean?

Anyhow, good read...I often wonder about the point of war poems tho - There's been a ton of good ones (Owens comes to mind) and they don't stop wars....Maybe it's like Auden says, "Poetry makes nothing happens" - I mean, Patton considered himself a poet! lol but I digress

[Glenn Davis]

Well done, A very real part of life many choose to ignore. Its funny, or should I say sad, that people are so indifferent to the death and destruction of others. Especially when they "are not like us", and if not indifferent then they cheer it on. A strong quote for the ending of a strong poem as well.

[::Yv0nne::]

Really great poem....u write about the reality in which we live today...so sad that it has to be this way...You're an awesome writer.

[Coyote Poetry]

Your description is old War with blade and steel. New Wars are bombs and death at a distance. Your description was amazing. War leave only sadness and pain. Create a new generation of children born with hate and revenge in their heart. Cycle must stop. Ending was perfect. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Taylor H.]

sad, but a great poem