Dreams

A Poem by Adora.xo

Blech? A blerb.

I will be where the clouds breathe air into my lungs,

And the blue skies melt into the fiery horizons.

I will calm my heart beat with the warm salty air,

Born from the silver waters that mother a million.

I will bury my mortality in the velvet sand,

And remain immortal in the whispering waves.

I will make a name for myself and carve it in the wet cliff sides,

And my voice will ring with the clouds for eternity.

I will watch the burning embers sink into the ocean,

And then blink back at the shimmering skies.

I will bathe myself under the flawless moon of silky cream,

Like the skin of a wanton lover at the peak of her infidelity.

I will be where the wispy clouds melt into dreams,

And the satin skies rob me of my sanity.

© 2010 Adora.xo

Author's Note

Let me know what you think.

My Review

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Featured Review

Mike Espinosa

This is a good poem. Your imagery is very good. and your simile at the end was fantastic. Only a few stylistic problems.

"Heart beat" should be one word.

"I will make a name for myself and carve it in the wet cliff sides," doesn't need a comma for this context. Really, any line that has a comma before "And" probably doesn't need a comma. They don't seem to be complex-enough statements to necessitate a comma.

Very good job.

Posted 15 Years Ago

3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Reviews

Glenn McCrary�

This is really good. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 15 Years Ago

Sunflower/Sara Kendrick

Interesting metaphoric language that you have used in this one..Keep the creative pen flowing filled with the great magical ink..Sunflower/Sara

Posted 15 Years Ago

Alicante lullaby

satin skies might have robed you of your sanity but they blessed you with words.

Posted 15 Years Ago

blob blob

Nice line---
"I will bury my mortality in the velvet sand,
And remain immortal in the whispering waves."
---the imagery is wonderful in this piece...
...great poem...

Posted 15 Years Ago

Victoria

I loved this!!!

Posted 15 Years Ago

Jason Ellis

I saw the universe through your eyes in this one.
Every move you made, I made with you.
Every breath you took, it filled my lungs.
The imagery brought me into your world and it begged me not to leave.
You captured me from the beginning and held me until the end.

As Mike said, "heart beat" should be a compound word.
He is also correct about the comma usage, but that doesn't bother me.
I do the same thing when I write.
It makes for better writing, in my opinion.
It lets the reader know where you wanted them to pause when they read it. It makes it more your own.
Regardless of a couple of minor technical issues, this is superb.
I absolutely loved it.
Fantastic job!

Posted 15 Years Ago

The Lone Wolf Prose

The imagery in this one was perfect. You really captured the feel and emotion of each landscape and thought; each emotion. I am really enjoying getting to see and read your works. Excellent job. Beautifully captured upon the written page.

Posted 15 Years Ago

Warick Ten Bohmer

Very very well written

Favourite line to take out of context
"carve it in the wet cliff sides" ;)

Posted 15 Years Ago

Mike Espinosa

Posted 15 Years Ago

3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Crowley

This is my favorite that you have written to date, it was smooth and creamy with a hint of surreality. Where else can all the things that we wish were true come to us without a perceived repercussion...only here my friend. Nice job.

Posted 15 Years Ago

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13 Reviews

Shelved in 2 Libraries

Added on June 13, 2010
Last Updated on June 13, 2010

Author

Adora.xo

The One That's Non-Existant As Far As You're Concerned., British Columbia, Canada

About

So that you will hear me So that you will hear me my words sometimes grow thin as the tracks of the gulls on the beaches. Necklace, drunken bell for your hands smooth as grapes. And I wat.. more..