Time

must we always take the slow path?

Falling apart

Gathering dust

Collecting webs of silky thread

Asleep

Alone

Unloved?

The desire to know

To feel

To find

What the future will leave behind

To ask

To remember

These summer times

Where a cool breeze blows

Along the beams of sunlight

Twisting like the sea

And weaving through the mist

When the night clams the day

Will the stars still shine through?

Lapses in time

Being forgotten

Falling through air

What will become?

What will happen?

Time will tell

The slow path unveils

 

Time will tell

 

Tick

 

Tock

 

Tick

 

Tock

 

Tick

 

Author's Note

thank you for your time (get it? :P) im 13

Reviews

[Helena]

Ah what a wonderful age, 13! You have all the time in
the world at that age. The world is waiting for you to
conquer it and I'm positive you are going to shake everyone
with your great talent! Beautifully penned and presented,
I couldn't fault this. Pen on poetess ~ Helena :)

[Sister Suzie]

Hay I loved this

[theludus]

This is actually quite fabulous and pardon me if I go back to the age thing, I just do the math and come to the conclusion that you'll be winning hearts and taking names by the time you reach twenty, if you stick at it.

So, do you critique poems too?

Do you like a bit of critique.

If I was you, I'd lose the rat and the parts in your bio that give away your age. If you're serious about writing then don't give anyone a reason to write you of before they've even begun. Rather, astound them with the knowledge only after you have them hooked.

Hey, this is very good in a lot of ways.

[The Message]

I loved the bulk of this poem immensly. It has great flow and sense of rhythm, which really helps accent the message of 'time'. The only part I didn't really like was the ending, but that's just because ending a poem in repetitive onomatoepia has been done to death. At this point it just seems like it's lost a lot of 'oomph'. Regardless, that's just my personal opinion and as a whole this is an amazing poem.

[Jim Clarke]

What I like about this poem is the way it captures the fact that time dominates our lives.

[Kenya J]

As I read more and more of your work; I forget that you are only 13. For you to be so young, you see life in perspectives I didn't even think about until...... Well now! Continue to do what you do. Good Job!