Dungeoned by pain

Who knew pain weighed so much?  He lays his head peacefully on my bruised chest, sinking deeper with every passing second , clenching his claws deep into my heart. I'm his mistress, dancing to his every tune. My pain is possessive, never wanting to let me go so he keeps me in a dungeon. That way, I'm always there when he needs me. Wouldn't want him to get lonely , would we ?

Author's Note

I'm trying to learn how to be open to criticism , so throw them at me ! It will help :)

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

A powerful description of the pain love may sometimes bring.....well, one can dig a bit deeper and ask the question whether we sometimes confuse love and lust.

Striking writing! :)

[Justin Robben]

Other than something with the tense that hits my spidey-sense, there's nothing really to criticize. Good language, easy on the eyes (other than that tense issue I can't seem to define...) It's a touching piece. It sounds like the opener of a slightly larger tale...
And I'd read that.

[Nicole Radithobolo]

Thank you ! Yeah tense was a problem for me too, but I'll work on it