"Tremor"

Poem #28. Uploaded Tuesday November 23, 9:39 PM.

Tremor
Shake your legs
Destroy the base
Remove the pegs
This is how
The tower falls
The motor breaks
The engine stalls
This is when
Your courage fails
Your will corrodes
Your soul derails
Tremor
Remove all doubt
Your mind is gone
You're dead, you're out
This is why
You're called a w***e
You're pushed around
You're brave no more
This is what
You've come to now
You've waited long
You've bent the plow
And now the harvest
Is surely gone
You gambled once
And now you're done
Tremor
Crack your bones
From high above
I hear your groans

Author's Note

It felt like a stroke of brilliance. What do you think?

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

well honed verbal edge striking open another reality view with every single line~

[Jordan]

It was nice. I probably wouldn't rhyme any of the lines, if it was me.

[Linear]

It felt like a rollercoaster ride, an incantation, a song, and a whirlwind of rhyme all in time, and i loved it

[JelliFyshKissUs]

A stroke of brilliance, indeed. Each line was like a whipping slash of a knife. Very succinct and precise in its execution. Bravo, my dear. Bravo.

[MuSe Ampoule]

It feels inspired. Assessment of a fallen friend fitting a deserving end.
"And now the harvest
Is surely gone
You gambled once
And now you're done"

[Nobody.]

damn good poem. I enjoyed it.
cheers!
R.G.