Manslaughter of the Heart and Soul

Something I wrote when I was 14. I knew heartbreak.

Why love, do you tease me?
Take me, give me hope and break me with doubt
My desire, there before me, beautiful and soft
Though he does not notice me
My eyes carefully watching his perfection,
Accepting his flaws more than a single person could
More than I should
Bleed and burn, heart as your love turns away from you
Take me joy into vain bliss
Doomed to horror
Doomed to nothing but another bore

Of teenage angst and so-called love
Do I not know the meaning of the word?
Is your beauty within so blinding

That I cannot open my eyes to face reality?
Face the falsity of my feelings?
Love, lust, hope, trust, death, murder, manslaughter--
These you have reduced me to

Ringing profuse in my bleeding ear
You kill me and you dare not know it

With your smile and eyes that deny my stare
Deny the blare of my beating heart as you come near
Deny once more and murder me
Intice me more and spill me, my soul
One mess upon the floor that is I

And my innocent lie of not knowing you

Not loving you, not wanting you, not needing you
My love
My hope
My dream of happiness
The bearer of my joy you stab with your lack of acknowledgement
If only you'd known what you'd meant to me before you gave yourself away to another
Just another
Just another girl
Another beauty, the opposite of I
Manslaughter.
You, the apple of my eye.

Reviews

[Ravenskald]

well written and poignant, wish i'd written it myself ;-)
"Another beauty, the opposite of I
Manslaughter.
You, the apple of my eye."

A very clever close, as to the rest your heartbraks as you take the journey through the poem
:)
~raven

[Raja]

Excellant! True sense depicted! I like the visualization that is done in it by your words. It is so real and timely.

"My eyes carefully watching his perfection,"

i like this line.

Thank you.

Raja

[Adrian K. Smith]

I have seen love, heartbreak, and the torture involved shown as death previously. Perhaps it is because my memory is not what it once was and because I do not read like I once did, but I cannot recall a better description of heartbreak as murder. Oh yes, there are the "oh woe is me, he ignored me, he killed me" garbage out there; but this is not that garbage.

There is a certain innocence, a certain honesty to the pain. I could not play my typical emotionally detached card on this like I can with so much (the been there, done that, felt that, whatever card).

I felt the pain like it was new again...