Cell of Sanity

this one's kind of dark... :)

Bent o'er an altar

of ice cold slate

sharp-tipped pen spills my blood

carving my heart into papery thin slices

they scatter them like flowers

down an aisle of white

married to madness

a demon wrapped in butterfly wings

i live and breathe in chains, shackles

hard black words caging me 

to my cell of sanity 

Reviews

[Diana]

I really enjoyed the imagery in that first stanza. Such a powerful relationship between the body and pen...

In stanza 2, I think you mean aisle. "Isle" as you've spelled it is short for island. Aisle, as in the aisle in church that people walk down, is spelled with an a in front.

Also, my eyes automatically want to jump from line 2 in your last stanza to line 4. The black words are caging you to your cell of sanity, correct? If so, I think leaving out line 3 would make that connection stronger.

[Diana]

I hate to point out spelling-related things. I just don't want that to detract from the beauty of your work. I hope you can understand that.

[Zan]

Thanks for your comments! Theyre really helpful. I dont notice this stuff myself so its great to have some constructive reviews :)

[Zan]

And thanks for pointing out the spelling :) its kindof embarassing so id rather have it fixed than leave it sitting there!