High School Homicide

I'm tired of being misunderstood

Judged, pressured, and misguided,

Sick of all the sad new teens

Long hair and thin pretty waists.

 

Can't you see

You make me vomit.

Can't you see

You're too obscene.

 

Brains and personality

They don't mean a thing.

Neither pure heart nor soul.

Sports or art are too tiring.

 

So can't you see

It's definately you, and not me

Who will never succeed.

Can't you see

I'm building my own monopoly

 

I'll smile

As  the last punch lands,

As i hear my feeble pleas.

I know you'll never see

How you're slowly killing me.

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this in my AP European History class today. It's poorly written, and the thoughts don't flow. Any suggestions, or corrections are appreciated. :D

Reviews

[love like suicide]

I honestly believe this was not poorly written ... this not only spoke to me in ways of re assurance but in ways of relations to my prior uncertainty of being out casted ... i actually have to stop and realize that i am not one of a kind per say but part of a kind that must overcome what we hate ...

[Misty Blue Eyes]

this is profound...great write

[Zane]

Thank you so much for your advice and opinion :)
It shall help me better this writing :)

[Looouise]

Im tired - I'm

deffinately - definitely

And i'll - I'll

As i - I

Because i - I

I like how this a poem a lot of people can relate to. And I like how true it is, especially with teenagers these days. If you've got the generic long hair and a pretty thin waist - you're sorted. If you've got the brains and lack the above, then you've got nothing.

The only line I'm not too sure about is the "Sports and art are too tiring." I'm not sure if it fits in well with the poem, or maybe it does. I don't know.

Other than that, it's a nice poem, and it definitely does portray the feelings quite well. :]