Man's worst enemy

All war and genocide is for material reasons

Why, the worst enemy of man is man
for man has subdued everything else
Fear not the tiger, fear the murderer's plan
Just hearken well to what history yells!

At times twas jingoism, at times a rancorous desire to do harm
Fear just man's malice and his ugly evil
If his dagger blow fails, he'll get you by black magic charm
His heart and mind alone well shelter the devil.

For how many fall prey to lions or snakes
one could even count them on fingers
Man invented a cure for smallpox but missiles too he makes
and he mercilessly kills without harbingers.

Man invented as many things for his destruction and harm
as he did for his benefit and good
He's inventor of bombs as well as tractors on the farm
And doesn't he detest acting as he should?

Man alone is behind the bloodiest of bloodshed
The angels too had foreseen his wars and battles
From the gory battlefield to the humble homestead
with the shrieks of murder our earth forever rattles!

Close your doors and your home secure
not to deter beasts, but to lock out the robber, the thief
For no greater danger than man lurks there for sure
Fear not the fierce bull, that you can turn into beef!

Wild beasts might be known to gobble us up
but isn't man as well found to be a cannibal?
Gosh, humans too on human flesh do sup
Man tis far more fearsome than any poor animal.

The greatest enemy of man thus is man himself
How much blood has he ruthlessly spilt of his own kind
Look out for the bottle of poison on his shelf
Till the deed is done, no knowing what goes on in his mind.

Young ladies refrain from venturing out at night
How now, what do they so fear?
They fear nothing but assault by man's might.
So rarely are they stalked by a grizzly bear!

Fortunately for us, this ain't how it always ends
man can always be the best of friends
So we can still count more on buddies and cronies
instead of focusing on foes and fiends.

For man he can be a hero and saviour
if judicious he is about right and wrong behaviour.

Besides if any religiön's allowed to foretell
the end of ALL killers and murderers
is that inferno of divine wrath we all know as hell!
©

Reviews

[FlatDaddy]

Oh, my friend, you have asked for my review after you said such nice things about me, and I strive for honesty, so ...
You have a great command of language, and you speak with truth as your backstop. You praise and condemn us for being what we are -- and that is no secret-- and you do it well, but I am puzzled by your method of construction, and it bothers me, i.e,
You begin with a rhyme scheme of a, b, a, b in four-line stanzas. Nothing wrong with that, and you continue with it -- then abandon it completely at the end. And I am bothered by no meter to this piece. It is easy to build rhyme when one doesn't adhere to structure, so why bother in the first place? Think, for instance, how Poe's poem, "The Raven" would sound if he had placed more words/syllables in random lines within the poem, and/or added lines? The entire piece would be destroyed.

You have an impressive command of language, and passion, and much to say. But I would have enjoyed this so much more if you had abandoned your efforts to rhyme and just gone with the feeling and meaning you wanted to express. Of course, you could have gone the other way and built the piece with strict meter and rhyme structure, again, as Poe did in the greatest example of that style one could find. Which is extremely difficult to do.

I do not wish to offend, only to help. I can only see things through my personal views and experiences, so I see/do things differently than most. I wish you well, and if you want me to read and review other works by you, please ask.

FD

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks much for your constructive criticism, actually english is only my second language so i can't follow strict meters and rhyme schemes and even western poets have come to enjoy my medley of forms/ meter as my rhythm and rhyme follows my muse rather than vice versa like professional conventional poets. So i have to say what i need to say and don't understand well what's syllable count or meter exactly, i mean my poems can have blends of couplers, quatrains, triolets, as per muse demand. Trust me you can try to enjoy it as some kind of innovative eastern blend for i just can't change my style. I'd rather poets focus more on my theme and content than flow or meter/ form.

[FlatDaddy]

Well, I am from the U.S, where we drive on the right; if I were to drive in England, I would be obliged to drive on the left, regardless of how I might see the road or want to see it. If I don't want to do that, I can always take a bus, hitchhike, or just walk.

Peace, my friend.

FD

[FlatDaddy]

On rereading this, perhaps I should have asked if you have read Poe's "The Rave." It would help, I think, to explain what I mean.

[FlatDaddy]

Grrr. "The Raven" I lost the last letter somewhere along the line.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yeah thanks i have read it recently its a professional perfect rhyme scheme, i can try to do that but i might have to sacrifice my content which won't work for me. I will still try. Thanks,

[FlatDaddy]

For you to do well, in English, you might be better suited to work in free verse, therefore freeing you from the restrictions of what I will just call, "rhyming poetry." I almost always use free verse myself because I write mostly in odd forms of my own construction. I do have structure in my pieces, but to me, the physical "look" of a piece is an important part of the poem overall -- dependant upon several factors: 1. What is being said, 2. How it is being said. 3. Why it is being said 4. Unknowns (found only at the time of writing).

I hope this can help you; you certainly do NOT want to sacrifice content for the purpose of adhering to what feels like an arbitrary and/or even a capricious rhyme scheme or structure.

Best of luck to you! And thanks again for your review of "I Know Why ..."
FD

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Free verse is actually more difficult for me, its advanced mod poetry but i do try it sometimes.

[FlatDaddy]

Well, you obviously have much to say and the words with which to say it. Why not try writing as you have been (as in the piece above that started all this), but forget about rhyming. If what you say does rhyme, fine; if not, that is fine, as well. Go for it! Then get back to me, I'll be happy to take a look -- if you like.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

Your poem delivers its message like a thunderclap--loud, unflinching, and reverberating long after the final lines. There's a fierce clarity in how you lay bare humanity's darkest truths: war, betrayal, cruelty, and the chilling fact that man's worst enemy is often himself.

You use rhyme not just as ornament but as emphasis, each stanza builds like a courtroom case, with visceral imagery and undeniable logic. The stark contrasts between beasts and men, between invention and destruction, between home and battlefield, all remind us that evil wears a human face more often than we care to admit.

Yet I appreciate that you didn’t leave us in despair. The poem’s closing gestures toward redemption--that man can choose nobility over violence, conscience over chaos. That hope, wrapped in rhyme, makes your work not only poetic but prophetic.

I felt the rhythm of justice and lament pulsing throughout this; it is a strong, courageous reflection. Thank you for writing it. I'd be honored to read more of your work.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Aw warmest thanks for your very professional indepth review for your time writing out such a great summary of the poem, so eloquently its a poem in itself. Take care dear,

[Gregoria Ahmed]

Thank you, Zaynab. Your words mean a lot, and I'm grateful our reflections connected.

[Buddhistboy73]

Wow!

This is a direct and honest portrayal of the two sides of man..
I also liked some of the humour you used here.....

Fear not the fierce bull, that you can turn into beef!

A well structured and deeply emotional musing on man's nature...

Thanks for sharing....)
BB73

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks soo much for super cool comment, glad if we can lighten up in these dark times, though the Palestinian genocide is too sad ah we can't cheer much.

[Vol]

S.
Now THAT is a long treatise to say "TRUST NO ONE! An old theme indeed, something to do with apples in gardens, and not being our brother's keeper...
Vol

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yeah man Satan's forbidden apples, heeding him leads man to kill and crime. Thanks for your super comment,

[Ayesha Faiz]

This is a powerful and deep poem! You've expressed a deep truth in simple but strong words that often, the greatest danger to mankind is not wild animals or natural disasters, but man himself. The way you’ve shown both sides of human nature, destructive and kind makes the message very clear and balanced. I especially liked how you used examples like war, inventions, and everyday fears to show how dangerous people can be, but then ended with a hopeful reminder that humans can also choose to be good. The final lines convey a strong sense of justice.
Well done! It’s a meaningful poem with a strong message.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanks for your fine comment summing it up so excellently,

[MarthaKlokke]

Is this a poem about warfare, genocide etc or about man and beast and poor young ladies.? The latter I presume. Beast is best-I mean beef is best- yummy yummy. Here it became a fine gourmet experience too. Great stuff S.Zayneb.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

This is only about man heeding the devil and being warring, killing, murdering aa a result. Thanks for comment,

[Sami Khalil]

Whoeee!
This was epic; so true and well articulated.
This awesome poem points out our plight as humans, as trouble makers and victims, as war mongers and the defiled innocents, as becoming like angels or lowering ourselves to animals in the jungle.
Lots to unpack here and approve.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks for your great thoughtful summary of this poem poet!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.

[red93]

So very real and well stated SZK, and so very true. Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks soo much for super feedback,

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words hard and so true my dear friend.
(The poor young lady refrains from venturing out at night
How now, what does she so fear?
She fears nothing but assault by man's might
so rarely is she stalked by a grizzly bear!)
The above lines. True everywhere. Here in the USA. Men like Trump. No respect for women. It is so sad. Women are our mothers, our sisters, our grandmothers, daughters and our grand-daughters. I hope and I pray. We learn. Respect and kindness. Outstanding and meaningful poetry my friend.
Coyote

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks for womderful thoughts and comment, amen to that poet coyote,