absence.

Patience, a beautiful virtue you seemingly didnt have, words we both held were lost the moment you stopped. My tears my red lips that matched those red scratches on your back purple green marks left by your fang like teeth those marks marred my skin a week maybe even 2 after the last testament to our situation before you went, I stared at them for those weeks crying out of anger and love each time I saw them, I couldn't comprehend how that night meant nothing you left only days after I confessed too late I did it anyway in hope maybe those feelings would leave I shot my shot despite it all I knew in my heart that the rejection would not change the 3 of us and our bond but I was wrong dead wrong I know she speaks behind my back and whenever you are with her you never speak to me and neither does she I no longer matter to either of you, you swear I'm still one of the most important people in your life but if that were true how could you forget how could you ignore I miss us but I miss you more I miss you being around without the romance without the intimacy I miss the person I fell for I miss the person who showed me I am worthy I miss the person who taught me to play that game you adore I miss the person who'd keep me company while I worked I miss the person who'd sit and listen to me rant the one who I gossiped with the one who seemingly could never get tired of me, but you did, and I realize now, you would never continue to care the way you did for it all was conditional part of me wishes I never pushed you both together oh how my world crumbled to bits when I did but I wanted to see you happy, I'm glad you're happy but I wish you would've stayed my friend I wish I didn't have to beg for you to trust me again why did you change ever so drastically as if I was never worthy why couldn't you see my love until it was too late, part of me wishes I confessed to you back then but I was terrified you would leave me like you have now but how foolish I was to let you slip out of my grasp. would you have left still if I confessed did you ever truly love me like you claim why did you have to leave not only our love but our friendship and bond behind, what could I have done to change this to get my friends back, you were afraid I'd leave but it wasn't me, I never wanted distance, you did.

I sat and held you as you sobbed and now I wonder do you do the same for her you said I was the first and only person besides family who has ever seen you cry, is that untrue now, do you speak to her the same hold her the same love her the same do you promise the same, do you ever speak of me like you did before do you say the same things you said to me, do you compare, do you ever miss me, or did you get over it the moment you noticed she liked you.

why do I miss you

why is your absence shaking me so

why did I have to love you

why was I such a coward

why didn't you say anything

why didn't you wait

was it ever real.