Talking Pens On Screaming Thoughts

The pen's a syringe to withdraw pain and inject it within a page

Conversations with my pen

Feels like I’m talking with you

Want to know what she’s up to

But I’ve been out of the loop

We used to be so tight

Guess the distance made us loose

If I was in it for the win

Why did I lie?

How the hell did I lose?

Straying too far from the tracks

My minds off the rails

I’ve been caught in the past

Couldn’t give you too much

So I thought that I’d ask

Having happiness away

Has me feeling a ways 

Involved with all the same

No need to repeat what you say 

Memories are all I can claim 

Came to the conclusion

I could only put the blame on myself

There’s nobody else

I knew how you felt

But I really want to know how you feel 

Thought this feeling was free

But it’s been costing me sleep

A summer day scene

Turned a winter night’s dream 

I’ve been caught in-between 

Blazing heat & solid snow

Pockets elbow deep

I’m lacking change there’s only hope

Broke with a billion dreams

Barely any sleep

Never been this deep in water

Dealing with a shallow wallet

Contemplating superficial thoughts 

Author's Note

Give your writers notes on this scripted life

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Overall I like your poem, but I prefer the first half becuz it feels like you are telling a specific story & I'm following the storyline while also catching your feelings quite strongly. At about the halfway point, your writing becomes more about the wordcrafting & not so much about the message. In the second half, your wordcrafting seems to take over the focus. I like your wordcrafting thru-out, but I prefer wordcrafting that delivers a strong relatable message too (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Zhavy]

I really appreciate all your your reviews, everything so thoughtful and kindly worded. I agree I need take more time between my writes when I feel it going off track, will keep this is mind as I continue to create. Thank you again for time and praise, it means a lot :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

i love the essence of this i can relate to this a lot
i love it
im not good at reviewing do you mind if i send to a few friends
but this is deep man love it

[Zhavy]

Please do I really appreciate you taking the time to enjoy my art. Definitely made my day, thank you

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

no worries
sent you a read request for my crystal poem
hope you like