Digby's Era of Eminence

This was originally written to be the first part of a larger story. I don't think that story will ever exist now, so I want to rewrite this as something stand-alone. I want to cut a lot of it too. What were your favorite parts?

I'm also looking for criticism. I know I have some bad habits, but I don't really understand them, so let me know what's wrong. This is a first draft, and will probably be rewritten from scratch, so broader comments about style, characters, etc. are preferred.