I only have so much my dear!

You took my breath away with you
And now you take my wallet too:
I'm turning blue, but all this while
You know there's nothing I can do.

You painted dreams with all your smiles
You held my hand in dreamy aisles;
When for a thousand bucks you asked,
My dreams entwined me, and beguiled.

When in the sun we went and basked,
You hit me with a copper cask,
Then took my keys and made me sleep
And I complied, like every task.

And now - you come to me and weep
You call me one disdainful creep.
I only have so much my dear;
I pray, don't put our love to sleep!

Author's Note

Iambic Tetrameter used here. I wrote the poem in a tongue in cheek sort of way. I hope you review with a sense of humor too! ;)

Reviews

[Devons]

This is a very funny poem, illustrating one of the problems that arises within relationships... particularly that reliance that is sometimes invoked by the woman (an unfair prerogative) to be 'kept' in the traditional sense - and that being a reflection to her of the man's dedication to their 'love'... Sadly, money and fortune are the pursers of glamour and and status which are very attractive charms to many of the female sex (not all, I hasten to emphasise, before I am attacked!) and this recompense can often translate itself into a form of love.. But it is merely dependence and exploitation.. although there are relationships which thrive on such sustenance - a perverse understanding between the exploited and the exploitative... It is a question of equality between two people who should respect one another..but it is often used to gain advantage.. An integral problem of much that is 'human'...
A very good piece of work with a subtle pathos and message, written and conceived with skill.

[Awdures]

Very funny!

"You took my breath away with you
And now you take my wallet too"

I'm not and have never been a kept woman, but I can see so much humour here. I don't know if people think it's good etiquette to spend more than just time with one another at the beginning of a new relationship!

Brave decision to write in Iambs, but it works and carries the momentum of the humour through to the very last line. Good work!

[FlawedByDesign]

You've definitely provoked a laughter in me :)
I dont think the meter is all that important when you write a humorous piece such as this, but well done regardless.
You may have inadvertently shun the spotlight on women, but we all understand these are the rare cases. It is interesting to see the man's devotion even after she's taken all that he has.

Well done.

[Ashley.M.E]

i'm sorry the first to lines made me laugh, sounds like something I want my bro to be saying to his s**t of a gf v.v...
I kind of don't like it, since my bro is going through alot of crap with that girl, It's a really good poem, just I have an anger problem when I think of (her).
I mean it's all all those couples who get abused and just stay with them and love the person who hurts them... kind of not funny to me.

[Michael X]

after rereading this, I could see the absolute imo. it is tonque and cheek
and quite interesting, you've captured the iambic tetrameter in all its function. reminds me of that old song, take the money and run,
awsome poem, keep it up

[Victoria]

Wow, this was very good. I loved reading it.