We're walking together,
you and I.
Holding hands and swinging our arms gently as we walk.
We talk
and smile softly at each other;
your eyes shine in the moonlight
and each simple exhale
creates swirls in the air
which dance around our heads
until the breeze disperses them.
Another word,
another swirl,
another smile,
another chance to look in your beautiful eyes,
another chance to look at your beautiful soul.
But then the spell is broken.
I break eye contact and quickly glance behind me.
My heart
racing.
My pupils
dilating.
My breath
quickening.
My speed
increasing.
My panic
overwhemling.
I try to ignore it
I don't want to scare you.
Let's just get out of here.
I inhale,
realising just how much my grip on your hand has tightned.
I'm sorry.
I loosen my grip but don't let go completely.
I need to feel the warmth of your skin again.
Another word,
another swirl,
another smile,
another chance to look in your beautiful eyes,
another chance to look at your beautiful soul.
But then the spell is broken.
I break eye contact and quickly glance behind me.
This time there's no fooling you.
You know something is wrong, I have to tell you.
But how?
You look behind us too, but you don't see what's there.
You can't see it, you won't understand,
but your grip tightens on my hand
forcing our palms together.
You know I'm scared
You know I need you
You know I want to get out of here.
So you quicken your pace
You reassuringly squeeze my hand and kiss my cheek.
We walk out.
Through the iron gates.
My muscles relax.
I didn't even realise how tense they'd been.
I fall into you arms.
I breathe out.
I didn't even realise I'd been holding it.
You kiss my head and hold me close,
I feel your radiating warmth
and I feel safe out of that place and in your arms.
I look behind us,
it's still there,
but it can't hurt me now.