The Cry

palms stinging, throbbing, aching

from hitting, banging, pounding

on a cold wall that eases the pain

a desperate, hopeless, pathetic cry

but the door remains unopened

and I remain alone

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This is rich in imagery and emotion. The line "on a cold wall that eases the pain" hits hard because it illustrates that the pain caused by that wall is a relief in comparison to the pain of the loneliness and seeming futility of "The Cry". I could not believe when I saw your profile that you are 15! I wonder if you realize how talented you are, and how obvious it is that your ability to express yourself is way beyond your years. I will most certainly read more of you.

[stargirl23]

Thank you soo much that was very kind!

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

And it is true!

[dan]

This describes a quest for a love that may be forbidden, or the love you are writing this too does not let you in, so you are sad that your love for this other remains unrequited. A sad situation, but the writer must keep an open mind and heart; in time a bigger and better love will come to fruition.
A very well written piece, Adi. take care...dan

[stargirl23]

Thank you!