To That One Boy

There's that one boy before I sleep

His love paints blushes on my cheeks

And mem'ries new and old I keep

Consoling mournful days and weeks

For fate deprived his face to me

This cruel curse between this space

Took form of hateful, monstrous sea

One lover's stuck in a wrong place

Convert these tears to pieces gold

Purchase a wish without delay

That he, this instant, be within hold

And in my arms forever stay.

Reviews

[Clara]

Great flow, and beautifully written.
I love the way you've rhymed it too.

I can relate a lot to this one.
Well done!

[jb]

Very sweet poem :).........

[Butch Decatoria]

What a perfectly penned sonnet, flawless iambics and emotes as should someone who shadows shakespeare's lovelorn ways... wonderful and well done...

[MBUYISA]

Very nice poem Blue.......I wonder....if there's someone who thinks that way about me. lol

[cycy]

hey hunny it has really been a while since ive been through any of your poems,,the title caught my attention on this one very well written indeed and yep there always is that one boy..lolx

[Gee]

Convert these tears to pieces gold,
purchase a wish without delay,
that he be here now in my hold,
eternally in my arms to stay.

This might work Blue if you do alter.
Enjoyed the read.

[Eddie Davis]

Well done, Blue, a nice youthful poem of joy and the longing of love.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this poem has such longing for the one who is far away---not within reach---you know i get this one...being in a long distance relationship--

so good to see you around again, Arzel Joy.

jacob

[Lyn Anderson]

I like this a lot. It is hard to get the rhythm of this type of poem right. I have only one suggestion, a rework of the second last line "within hold" sounds somewhat awkward -- (mine to) (one to) or something in that line? Just a suggestion. Either way, nice write.

[Blue]

Oh, I admit, that line sounds awkward indeed. Haha. But I need to maintain the rhyme... I'll get back to this. Thanks, by the way!