Life in the Box of My Past

...a past I am glad I left...even now, a year later....

My past life is not a pretty one…

 

But it seems that it happens

All too much…

I come from a past

Of domestic violence,

Mental, emotional and

Substance abuse….

 

I finally saw what was happening,

After the euphoria of alcoholism wore off,

And I saw what the ruins

Of my shattered life had become….

No longer did I want to live that life

I did what I had to do…

 

I packed up and took with me

What I valued most in my life

I have not looked back….

I will not go back…

No matter what became of me,

No matter what is to be…

 

 

 

 

It has been a year

Since I left that existence

I struggle every day with my addiction,

My very existence varies from day to day

Sometimes…but,

I am happy that I no longer have that burden

 

My life now depends on me

And what I do with it…

Something I have never before done…

I try to live my life

The best I know how

To take care of myself and my own

 

I thank the ones that have

Helped me along the way,

With kind words of wisdom…

For without their help

And their guidance,

I would have been lost…

 

I was a babe in the woods

As far as the ways of the world,

Though I am grown,

I had never been alone…

Always sheltered…

Now I face the reality…

 

 

Author's Note

it has been almost a year since i left my past existence...a lot has happened to to me since then and i really am glad that i left, though i still wonder about it....AT

Reviews

[C.R. Moore "Lasla"]

A wonderful expression and remembrance I also have been there and it can be daunting to say the least and days that it seems it would be easier to return rather than fight but then your mind gives you this type of inspiration ! Keep it strong and real you will be just fine you are well on your way !
The future is what we want it to be so make it what you want it to be!

Lasla

[KAREN BROWN]

wow i can relate a lot to this.i also had left a 9 yr relationship because i was losing who i was.there was mental and phyiscal abuse every day.I am glad to see u took the right path and left.i feel you did what u knew u had to do cause no telling what more horrible things u could of been put through.Its hard but its true we make are life the way we want it to be.yes family and friends was always there for ya always will be .thank u for sharing :)

[Lalli]

Amanda,

Forgive me for taking so long with my review, I have been busy embracing the change caused by my past.
This poem truley spoke to me... I"ve been serving a 6 month sentence in Sheriff Joe Arpaios famous tent city and and only a few days from being done.
I was addicted to the life that smoking herb and selling it had provided.
I have been 2 years clean, my writing has grown in ways i could have never done with drugs in my life.
Although the temptation is constant i remain strong enough to stay clear and will continue to do so, I commend you for the change you made because i understand all to well
How difficult of a change it was.

Nice job darlin!

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[With Each Raindrop Come..]

Very spiritual! I love this poem, It makes me think of the things in my past... but at the end, it just seems like everything will get better!

[R J Askew]

Very uplifting. It is good to read of how you have managed to turn your back on your destructive past. Sad of course that you have to, but such is life. Good luck with the future!

[The DuchessPoet]

Having the courage to confront our fears and the strength to grow from our past is more powerful then words can say but you, my friend, have expressed very eloquently a journey
that many don't survive ... not even for moment!

Most continue to allow the experiences of their past to haunt them instead of protecting them! Transitioning from a victim of pain into warrior who fights for the joy and peace that their life
deserves speak highly!
I admire your choice to fight and your need to rise above the forces that controlled you!
You Amanda are an inspiration to those who need the motivation to fight and for those of us who respect the hardships of struggle!

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful testimony to your existence!

Your friend and fan!
The Duchess...

[Bhavya Kaushik]

People say that you may leave your past but your past can never ever leave you...As you know, I'm still fighting with my past, though its more than 2 years now but still every thing seems like yesterday!

But this one indeed is very different and I'm glad that you have moved on with life...Because you know, once in everyone's life a time comes which changes it completely and then it depends upon every individual...either to stick with it till then end of life or to move on after learning from that experience....And I'm really glad that now your past no more haunts you...

This is not just a poem but a description of a life and how much you have grown with your past, the closing lines truly concludes it
"Though I am grown,
I had never been alone�
Always sheltered�
Now I face the reality�" - I loved these line the most, it is like...though you have moved on but with your past has also left the real "you"!
Great work, as always!

[THE LOST ROSE]

To have fought and still fight that battle you guys are the true champions of the world. Those of us that are not addicts really don't understand how hard that fight is. You shared it with us in such a creative way it was what it it is POETRY. A great write because I know this had to be emotional to draw out an put it on paper for the world to see. I salute you for the fight as well as the poem. Awesome, Awesome!

[Fran Marie]

Addictions are indeed so hard to break-away from, good for you that you did get
away from a devastating one Alcoholism is a crippling addiction not only to the
body~ but heart ,mind and soul~ Deep emotional piece well penned~Fran Maree