Monologophobia

And I am afraid of circles

Afraid of being drawn round and round
Legs so worn and weary, but my feet are forward bound

And I am afraid of circles

On the way must have lost my mind

But when did it unravel? When did it unwind?

And I am afraid of circles

The past always travels back

To rest is to be stagnant, can’t afford to unpack

And I am afraid of circles

Who expected forever to be as long?

I crave new direction, new stories, new words, new song

And I am

And I am afraid of circles

Author's Note

This is an older poem of mine from highschool. I really want to make something from this, so please give me brutal criticism if you will. Thank you.

Reviews

[H L Rose]

Wish I could give a more helpful review, but I’m not able to come up with any good criticism, so I’m just going to play an encouraging role.

I really like the “and” in the repetitive line. I like how it reflects the whole going around in a circle that never ends.
I also like the theme of the poem as a whole. I’m sure someone could relate to it in a multitude of ways, but I like how it seems to fight the struggle against the mundane.

Great poem!

[Rye]

I can't offer brutal, not good at that, but I did enjoy the write. Nicely expressed and written

[emipoemi]

You want brutal, I'm your reviewer...... the question, however, should be whether this needs brutal criticism. My answer: NUH-UH!! I only have two minor critiques, and that's that:

- No "are" in "feet are forward bound" (has better sound and musicality)

- Too many cravings near the end there (take one out and leave the other three there...it also helps the musicality).

Other than those two factors, this is a really well constructed and well thought-out poem. Your images are strong, the narrative is great, your refrain is on freaking point. And I love how it ends. Really powerful (I'm debating whether you actually need that second "and" in the repeating line, but your call). Wonderful! Brava! Well freaking done!