in your arms

 You asked me once,

If I could let you go.

And I said yes.

Hoping you would come back,

Because I made myself,

Into the perfect woman for you.

 

I shaved away little pieces of me,

So I could fit into your arms.

And now im left with this stranger,

Who is me.

But I hardly know myself at all.

 

Author's Note

work in progress... im completely open to suggestions... =)

Reviews

[darkgurl]

"I shaved away little pieces of me,
So I could fit into your arms.
And now im left with this stranger,"

I love these lines right here, I think your write is perfect the way it is, you add anymnore it would take away from the view point of your poem, I think it's wonderful the way it is. Well written...Kim

[Ocean Orchid]

This piece is built .... with a natural spontaneous flow ... in a heartfelt manner .. also the emotions came up from the lost love or the longing for yr desired one & the metaphoric usage of poetry also implies poems sometimes can be such a transcending way to communicate - which you portrayed nicely ... Well written.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

One suggest,has nothing to do with the poem or your talent, the print is so small, I had to strain my eyes to read it.

The words so eloquently expressed how we become lost in the love and desire of another. Then one day wake up and find ourselve lost.

You did an excellent job of expressing this feeling of giving so much of ouselves to another, and the feeling of not being appriciated.

Well written.

[emmajoy]

These words are so meaningful .. you've written them beautifully, Amanda.

'I shaved away little pieces of me, / So I could fit into your arms. / And now im left with this stranger, / Who is me. /But I hardly know myself at all.'

Your second stanza is perfectly constructed, the emotion behind the words is expressed with such deep sincerity and honesty.

Thank you for sharing you as well as your words.