Skeleton In The Daylight

There is a place 

underneath your 

collarbone 

where I left 

the imprint of my 

fingertips 

and there is a 

place between 

your thighs 

where I left 

the outline of my 

hipbones 

they were swaying 

in the moonlight 

as you sung me 

to sleep 

sounds of pleasure 

and comfort 

like a welcome 

home rug 

that has been used 

too many times 

to count 

you breathed inside 

me and used me 

like a draft 

to your drawings, 

a summary 

of your favorite 

novel, 

a skeleton 

in the daylight 

nothing more 

than that, 

really.

Reviews

[Rob Santana]

Clever wording, creative piece. I like the format in which you typed it out.

[Ali Guerra]

Thank you :]

[Clockwork]

I like the short line lengths and how compact this poem is. I think that gives it some extra potency. I think my favorite part is lines 4-12. I've always been fascinated with the feeling someone can leave behind on the body even if they are not there. You describe that really well here. Good image and a good concept. I also like your simile about the welcome home rug that has been used too many times. That gives off such a powerful feeling, especially how that eventually build up to the part about the skeleton.

[Ali Guerra]

thank you, i am happy you liked it. i appreciate your reviews so much :]]

[Clockwork]

You're welcome :-)

[Katiya K]

Beautiful. I really like the short lines in your poem - they make me want to read faster and faster. I also enjoyed the imagery. It was quite beautiful especially your analogy.

[Ali Guerra]

thank you very much :]

[Maria]

This is wonderful writing! Excellent choice of words and imagery.

[Ali Guerra]

I appreciate it!

[eglantine]

This is lovely, I especially like the descriptions of where the speaker has been.

[Ali Guerra]

Thank you so much!