Romeo and Juliet - Balcony Scene (Modern Times)

A project my friend Nicole Canflyy and I wrote for english class.

[Romeo approaches the California beach house, standing under Juliet's balcony and dials her phone number]
Phone rings in the tone of Barbie girl

Rom: Her ringtone is so bitchin'. My heart is going to explode all over the dance floor!

Juli: Like ohmygod, someone's calling me!
[picks up her phone]

Rom: Ah, her voice is as sweet as a protein shake, which keep my buttock perfectly toned.

Juli: Is that my fair Rom in his lovely tight spandex shorts?

Rom: Why yes it is.

Juli: You are the Ken doll to my Barbie and the Malibu dream pool to my vacation play set.

Rom: I am proud to by your sexy perfectly tanned ken doll.

Juli: Like, if Therese tries to get in your swim trunks, I will totally give her split ends, and steal her favorite Gucci wedges.


Rom: You're so cute when you're threatening your best friends.

[laughs and flips hair] Like duh.

Rom: The way your feet graciously walk, all sassy and what not, I would give up a year of righteous waves just to be a stelleto on those fair feet.

Juli: Wait. Like how'd you even get here? I like on like the fourth floor.

Rom:Love.

Juli: LOVE?! Pssssht. Yeah okay, and I'm naturally tan. [eyeroll]

Rom: You are so hot.

Juli: If my daddy, Hulk Hogan, finds you, he's going to eat you faster than one of our Mexican maids.

Rom: mmmhmmm... Mexicans...

Juli: seriously, how did you get here?

Rom: LOVE! geez, you're such a w***e.

Juli: And you're like a creeper.

Rom: We should totally get married.

Juli: Forealll. Isn't that like illegal though?

Rom: [interrupting] I could buy you a ring... from the surf shop vending machine.

Juli: Ohmygod! You better get me a real one. Or I'll dump your a*s!

Rom: Ugh. Fine.

Juli: Ohmygod!, I think my Mexican maid is coming.

Maid: [distant, from inside the house] Juliet? Honey?

Juli: Ah, like no habla the espanol.
I must leave you baby.

Rom: Will I see you again?

Juli: At school tomorrow. Duh.

Rom: Oh, yeah.

[awkward silence]

Rom: Um... You should hang up.

Juli: No you hang up!

Rom: Okay.
[hangs up]

Juli:[sighs] Perfect body...
OMG!!! DID HE JUST HANG UP ON ME ?!