Onion Patch

I am here beside this onion field

peeling back layers I see and feel 

no one knows and yet, everyone bleeds

a length and width and sense of need

he sat there

with his head bowed low

quietly anticipating

no need to show

like those feelings I used to know

when times were full of uncharted troves

oh, how the road beckoned before 

calling

teasing

and we, ready to burst with hopeful imaginings 

jumped inside with nerves of steel,

steering toward some silent summon

over the uneven asphalt sea

when did the scenes deflate

and shackles bound

wrapped round your life 'til you can no longer breathe

freedom remains some distant memory

a desperate haunt

of where you used to be...

Reviews

[Alisa Js]

Thank you serah for your time. I appreciate that and your comments

alisa ;-)

[.]

~ hi alisa...

~ (your nice manners are having their effect on me :P)... this is a brilliant piece of poetry for several reasons... (possibly one of my favourites by you)...

"...everyone bleeds
a length and width and sense of need"

~ extremely insightful... uniquely expressed... loved your choice of words...

~ the "like those feelings i used to know" stanza is incredibly beautiful... the last two lines of this stanza... especially "some silent summon"... are overwhelming...

~ the concluding stanza... especially... "when did the dream deflate"... is thought provoking... ~ recently, i took my millionth round trip to sense and back... (not that i have learnt too much haha :P)... and i do think... that dreams get deflated when desperation gathers momentum and we become quantity conscious rather than quality conscious and allow materialism and/or social sanction to win...

~ i tested this... at a personal level... and i don't have solid proof yet... but when we change our lives... and don't bother about materialism and/or social sanction... our lives begin to change... right now, the lines on my palms are changing... there are red patches all over my palms... ~ it seems like my life was an ode to "norms" but now it's going to some other place...

~ more importantly... i'm sure you can tell how much i absolutely loved your post... i'm consumed by it... :P

~ serah

[Alisa Js]

Hi Laura,

Thank you! Sometimes memories haunt....

Wishing you a fabulous weekend,

alisa ;-)

[Little Whisper]

This is a very thought provoking poem... I can feel it in my heart.