A second language

A second language

I decided to 

Do a course.

A second language.

The teacher is a woman

The subject

Women's English.

Apparently,

Yes equals no

No equals yes.

Sure go ahead 

means:

I don't want you to!

Do what you want!

Translates:

You'll pay for this later.

Do you love me?

Means:

I'm going to ask for something expensive!

While,

How much do you love me

Translates:

I did something today

That you're really not going to like.

After many exams

I still failed

So I gave her a piece

Of my mind.

"I'm pulling out of this course!"

I said.

"I'm bored!"

Meaning:

Do you want to have sex?

Can I call you sometime?

Means:

I'd eventually like to have sex with you!

Can I take you out to dinner sometime?

Translates

I'd eventually want to have sex with you.

I then tried

" I love you too!"

Meaning:

Ok, I said it, can we have sex now.

She said.

You're certainly very attentive tonight!

Meaning:

Is sex all you think about!

I said.

You look tense, let me give you a massage!

Meaning:

I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes! 

She said.

I'm not upset!

Meaning:

Of course I'm upset you, moron!

Sadly,

I got kicked out of school

She read my mind,

She knew my language.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You still have that warped mind Andrew that allows you to explore where other poets dare not tread! As always entertaining and thought provoking.

[andrew mitchell]

as always thank you for gracing my page john, and good to hear from you.

[Cassie]

hahahahaha, it is true about the school and am glad she read your mind..haha. Very clever

[andrew mitchell]

You are suppose to be on my side Cassie!!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

Some teachers can brake our hearts.
I said.
You look tense, let me give you a massage!
"Meaning:
I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes!
She said.
I'm not upset!
Meaning:
Of course I'm upset you, moron!"
I did like the tale and the above lines. Some woman are dangerous.Can read our minds. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[andrew mitchell]

lol Thank you John

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Willard Wells]

I will agree and yet disagree. While your points are valid and well taken my friend, after a life of loves lost and love won, in the end I had more to do with the understanding of the language that you speak.

It seems from what I have been told, that what we say is not what they hear either. So as we have for all of the history of mankind from Adam and Eve to now. We will both say or do what is needed to be with the one that at some point created heat and that rapid heart beat.

[andrew mitchell]

Willard thank you for your words This write was a humorous one grossly exaggerated to show the differences mentally of the sexes

[Willard Wells]

That was why I gave you my tongue in cheek review. Nothing serious at all. I liked your work. One of your funnies and best. You knew that. hahaha

[andrew mitchell]

You got me lol lol I took you literally, more fool I lol

[Willard Wells]

You have a different sense of humor and I sometime try to play off or it. Not always hitting the mark. You know in my mind it sounded perfectly fine.

[andrew mitchell]

I'm still laughing lol

[jesserose99]

this is aussie of course...nice to know it's universal then, and that I don't need to pick up men's second language. lol juuust kidding. you guys really are from Mars!

[andrew mitchell]

hahahaha thank you JR

[Chris]

Deliciously on target... remedial lessons scheduled yet?

[andrew mitchell]

lol thanks Chris, it's too grueling!! No male has passed! lol

[Chris]

Shhhhhhhhh!?! That's telling!!!

[andrew mitchell]

I know!!! shhhhhhh!

[KWP]

ahhh you think you know us so well (and you do) this is so very clever and on cue - funny funny stuff - well done you ?

which translates to ... 'hhh you think you know us so well (and you do) this is so very clever and on cue - funny funny stuff - well done you ?'

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks KWP , thanks for letting me bug your house to retrieve this valuable information, next week we find out what women really want in the bedroom from yours truly KWP.

[andrew mitchell]

Ps I love your humour KWP X

[KWP]

my profile is rated G - 'you will never know' ;)

[andrew mitchell]

hahaha Hey! We are talking Australia here! Aussie women are the best lovers if you crack their code! lol Just joking folks all women are good lovers, its the new year lol xo

[KWP]

well I will second that first comment ...

[andrew mitchell]

And I have to confess I'm still learning the art of understanding women lol;) Its a life long commitment but an enjoyable rewarding one:):):) and its getting easier, I'm gonna pass!!!! lmao

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks for the smiles and chuckles KWP. A nice way to start the year! xx

[KWP]

just don't try to understand ... there's really no need ... we will always shift the goalposts anyhoo ... that's just what we do ... X

[andrew mitchell]

lol lol lol Its footy! Game on!:):):)

[zunie frost]

OMG !!!!!
this the most outstanding poem i have ever read !!!!!
you are totally amazing with you work !!!!
this poem is so funny
i just couldn't stop laughing !!!!
1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 % ratings from me or may be even more
you deserve it !!!!
thanks for sharing such an awsome poetry

[andrew mitchell]

lol thank you so much zunie and happy new year

[zunie frost]

welcome!!!!! happy new year !!!

[B]

Oh my
I cant stop laughing
Andrew that is hilarious
oh my

Yes
Women do that
i am the first one
i say no when i mean yes
i say i am fine when i am not
i say i need no help when i am close the edge

we all do it
It takes a really smart guy to notice

so i guess u r some sort of genius lol

[Robert]

This is great Andrew, you work always makes me smile and laugh. And you are so very clever in what you write about.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you so much Robert!