A second language

A second language

I decided to 

Do a course.

A second language.

The teacher is a woman

The subject

Women's English.

Apparently,

Yes equals no

No equals yes.

Sure go ahead 

means:

I don't want you to!

Do what you want!

Translates:

You'll pay for this later.

Do you love me?

Means:

I'm going to ask for something expensive!

While,

How much do you love me

Translates:

I did something today

That you're really not going to like.

After many exams

I still failed

So I gave her a piece

Of my mind.

"I'm pulling out of this course!"

I said.

"I'm bored!"

Meaning:

Do you want to have sex?

Can I call you sometime?

Means:

I'd eventually like to have sex with you!

Can I take you out to dinner sometime?

Translates

I'd eventually want to have sex with you.

I then tried

" I love you too!"

Meaning:

Ok, I said it, can we have sex now.

She said.

You're certainly very attentive tonight!

Meaning:

Is sex all you think about!

I said.

You look tense, let me give you a massage!

Meaning:

I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes! 

She said.

I'm not upset!

Meaning:

Of course I'm upset you, moron!

Sadly,

I got kicked out of school

She read my mind,

She knew my language.

Reviews

[AaronFreitas]

Haha this one is awesome Andrew! I swear they should really make a course on womens English... might help us guys out lol... they probably need a different for each race though haha

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Aaron lol

[....................]

haha, a great twist on the old Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus...i would rather it straight up - no beating around the bush... tell it like it is...if you want me to do something don't throw hints and vice versa... say it :)

[andrew mitchell]

What FT! Beating around the bush did you say! well well well! lol I agree Thomas I like to know my place without games! lol

[PANDORA]

This was cleverly written and an all too humorous truth. Life would be easier (but so much more boring), if we all just said what we wanted plainly and bluntly.

Thanks for the read

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Pandora Yes the language of the sexes lol!:)

[mattavelli]

Too funny, Andrew. Language of the heart...

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you for your kind words Sir mattavelli