The BBC World exclusive interview with God.

I'm so glad you could make it God.

My pleasure Andrew.

So let's start off with what is your favourite title?

God Almighty!

What's your favourite all time movie?

God created Woman.

And your favourite Goddess is?

Bardot of course!

Moving on let's try a finishing a metaphorical sentence on Bad versus Good,

What goes down.........?

Doesn't come up!

Correct!

If you could add to the ten commandments

what would you add?

No guns and all priests that abuse children get struck by lightning!

I see!

What do you call those profound words of wisdom you use?

A uni-verse!

What don't you like outside St Peters Gate?

The homeless.

What would you do better next time?

Make the fig leaves smaller!

Why?

Gets hot in summer!

What do you wish for?

Copyrights!

Your biggest thrill?

Moses parting his hair!

Your biggest regret?

The church!

How many Gods are up there?

One! Just me!

Have you seen any terrorist martyrs in heaven?

No! Not on my patch!

Well, we are running out of time God.

But thank you for filling us in with your wisdom and possibly another visit?

Never say never! My pleasure Andrew.

Thanks for having me on your show'

"Til next time!

Amen!

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Clever Andrew. I like it.

[Ruth]

lol Amusing...the church being the regret I found interesting...after all, true faith is in the heart and heaven resides within...quite an epic interview :)

[Pete]

quite the news scoop. very clever, witty & telling. good chuckles. i think we all conduct this interview in our minds as we wonder and question ...

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A laugh out loud moment while reading this piece, satire and chuckles all in one, well done, good read.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Thomas

[Einstein Noodle]

well done..quite the mix of chuckles and surprise reality checks .. sorry...had to pick a favorite:
"What do you call those profound words of wisdom you use?
A uni-verse!"
you really need to send this in to letters to the editor somewhere sir ...its top notch for sure ..well done..i hear God laughing too! ;)
E.
ps. and crying :(

[andrew mitchell]

Many thanks my friend lol

[.]

Haha. Very witty and original as always!

Seems like God is a bit of a perve with his Bardot obsession and wanting to make those fig leaves smaller! I really think interviewer Andrew should have made him answer the hard questions. Seems we all need those answered nowadays.

I enjoyed this piece, Andrew. A very clever write.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you very much Doodley for your kind words.

[Ardra]

This one made me smile Andrew :))
The better thing to do making fig leaves small :p
He surely does have sense of humor...so do you ..

Hopefully you will do an interview with Lucifer also :p
I would like to read that....

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you and I’m working on it.

[Ardra]

:) that's nice...

[SleeplessVolcano]

This one hit the spot! In the follow-up, why not have a bit more of a Stephen Sackur approach? Contrary to popular belief, God does not really mind if we ball a fist (and shake it) at him from time to time.......as long as those fists open up too....:)

And he surely does have a sense of humor......though I'm not so sure whether a giraffe, sloth or porcupine would agree....:P

[andrew mitchell]

Haha thank you for your comments SV

[KWP]

oh Andrew this made me smile and ponder at the same time - clever and quirky - It's good to see God has such a good sense of humour - I feel as if I know him much better now :) Hope all is well X

[andrew mitchell]

Haha thank you kwp

[Mrudula Rani]

This sounds a lot like Bernard Pivot's long questionnaire! Loved it.your writings are extremely intelligent and inspiring.

[andrew mitchell]

Can't say I've heard of him! Mine was based on Parkinson's interviews.

[Mrudula Rani]

Have you heard of James Lipton? Part of his interviews consist a short Bernardo pivot questionnaire. I wish you had demanded the lord for an explanation... why this world so screwed up?

[andrew mitchell]

In the next interview lol

[Mrudula Rani]

If you need any help in grilling the Almighty, Just give me shout...