And now for the world news!

Now for world news.

Today, the world was drenched

in violence, depravity and

soaked in tragic sadness

as it was yesterday.

Aah! So what! We, the viewers

already know that!

Okay! What would you like to hear?

Definitely celebrity gossip!

Okay! Here is the world news.

Today, celebrities were drenched

in violence, depravity and acted

in stupidity with horrible acts

of indecency causing climate change

as they all did yesterday.

Now that's better!

That's news!