The meanness of pen just tattooed ink

A deluge of thoughts
will rain on paper
but only a few
will be selected
as wisdom swirls
around the pen,
paper becomes sweaty
in anticipation.
But the pen pauses
the paper waits,
the pen smiles
knowing its power,
the paper waits,
the pen plays with time stalling.
Suddenly the paper shouts.
“ You’re a bloody b*****d pen!”
Feeling gratuitous
the pen writes.

Reviews

[mou]

You draw an awesome tension between pen and paper.. I did never think like that before.. It is the best part of your style, AM. Always creative yet sweet and simple.. I love it.. After a long at wc but I was really missing this..
- mou.

[andrew mitchell]

Hello Mou hope you are well. Tanks for stopping by 😄

[mou]

Always a pleasure :)

[Ruth]

Ah, like life, poetry is a process in itself...poetry is life, life is poetry :)

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Ruth for stopping by 🙂

[Writergurl]

loved the last three lines a lot, this is cute and clever

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you very much writergurl

[W. Barrett Munn]

This has a lot going for it. I think all it lacks is some revisions. One thing that yanked me out of the idea was when you wrote, "paper is excite". That passive description doesn't work with the rest of the poem. Perhaps something like, paper sweats excitedly, or paper panting in anticipation.

I have the same proclivity to passively describe instead of relaying a story, so don't feel alone. Overall I thought this had a nice feel to it and has merit. Hope this help.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you very much for your advice.