In The Classroom (just a little something)

This is just a little part of what I maybe, but most expectantly not, intend to make a little, teeny tiny, bit of the first chapter of my novel... (I haven't figured out what to name it yet)

Elise looked over at Keith for the fifth time that hour. Being in a people-jammed classroom wasn't exactly her favorite activity, but if that was what it took to get a look of him, it was definitely worth it. The always sullen teacher, Mr. Magnus, was telling about the sectors:

"And as many of you may have discussed in earlier subjects, our sector was called "The United States Of America" before the invasion, or "The End" as it is formally called."

Not that Elise didn't think this subject was interesting, she actually used to suck up every word Mr. Magnus ever said, but today the light of the dawn outside really hit Keith's face in a way that just couldn't be overlooked. How it would be to touch that pale cheek of his. And those eyes. Elise had always loved his eyes the most, though his lean body wasn't all bad either. But midnight skies in from of eyes were not something you saw every day. At least not in sector five.

"Ms. Fontain? Am I interrupting something?" grumbled Mr. Magnus, suddenly, jolting Elise out of her thoughts. The whole class turned to look at her. Unfortunately, so did Keith. And it was not until now that she was aware that she had been gawking at him for minutes. Embarrassed, she looked down at the table, trying to calm herself down... All those eyes. On her. Keith was looking at her. Oh no. How stupid mustn't he have thought she looked in that very moment? "No, Sir. Not at all. Sorry." She stuttered and thereafter just wanted to die. Why was she such a wuss? Sure, she hadn't been attending school for over a year because of her work with Ethan�"and partly because she had been on the verge of melancholy; and sure, nobody had ever been quite fond of her, but this shouldn't bother her that much. No. She should just ignore all those stares and say something smart. But of course she couldn't get herself to do it. No. Nothing was ever easy when you were her. At least not after her mother vanished, and especially not after she had started her job as a Hulave for the town's most loathed Halfling, Thomas.

Author's Note

This is just a little part.. I just want to know if any of you guys like the way it is written... ^^

Please leave some constructive comments!

Reviews

[Sukylola]

Really interesting...i love the way the characters are portrayed, and the descriptions used...'midnight skies in form of eyes', i really like that one!!

[soliloquy]

Maybe a little too ambitious? I like the ideas presented in this beginning part...you have my attention....but it seems that maybe you should concentrate on a few less topics....its seems a bit busy to me.

Just my thoughts.

[RYDER]

ya i like it very much but i want u to experiment more

[Westminster Abbey]

seems interesting. I would like to read more

[Amanda J. S.]

I'm not gonna use this for the real novel... But I'm just trying out to see how people like the way it is written... You know, the flow of the words and the grammar ^^

[Hester Vane]

Short, simple and interesting. Great job.

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you ^^

[Winona]

wow so intrigueing

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you, but read my comment to jamillet's review ^^

[de_maruf]

fantastic

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you ^^

[_]

That was great. :D It was cool to see a story from you. :)

[Amanda J. S.]

I only made this for grammatical practice, but thanks anyways ^^