Wind

A narrative poem inspired by a day going to into school and "Raven's Ink" writing prompt

Wind(y)

She stood on the corner,

70 something, frail in body, and unpredictable in mind,

Watching the walk sign numbers blink down to Zero,

And stepped forward.

 

The wind swept away the remaining heat

From the top of her head,

And all of her ideas with it.

She stood there, frozen, in the street.

 

But her ideas were not gone, only

Gone from her. They blew away…

They blew away and landed on top of

A little girl’s head rushing into school to make

The bell by 7:30, and she did.

 

Another idea sped into an ear of  

A young flamboyant crossing guard

Enlightening him, to quit his job,

And move ahead with the next big thing.

 

When the wind settled down,

The crossing guard walked away from his post,

And she lay silent in the street.  

Reviews

[carl]

glad that old lady was a repository for good ideas and that they landed in the right brains. very creative piece - enjoyed it - carl

[Pete]

gives new meaning to, "hold onto your hat". winds of change not for the faint of heart. clever and endearing. good stuff.

[redzone]

Hi Amanda, I read this poem a few times figuring out what I wanted to say. Sometimes my review/comments are way too long (ask Jacob). I was thinking, or what your poem provoked in me, was the idea of 'thoughts' affecting others around you or far away. And how poets, or other artistic pursuits, their thoughts intentionally are blown from their heads and influence others (like your little girl and crossing guard). And how these thoughts have consequences, in one way or another. One of the reasons why art (broadly speaking) is often am advocate for change in society and in the way people relate to each other—harbingers of a sort. In your poem, this 'was pointed to in the little girl and crossing guard.

I enjoyed your poem very much Amanda. Thanks for sharing.
-Curt

[Lorry]

I've always wondered what happens to all the thoughts blown away in distraction when confusion or other thoughts invade our minds.
We've all seen that frail old lady, moving at a more sedate yet confused speed, wondering if the numbers will ever speed up for her yet knowing they most likely won't.
I really like how your piece starts with a negative yet ends with two positives (three if you add your thought)
Glad the young girl made it yo school before the crossing guard quit, but disappointed to learn you have a proper growed up name for them, where we just call them lollipop men or ladies! 😃

[jacob erin-cilberto]

So sad for the older woman, but she did give her spirit to two different younger people...
Sometimes I feel like my ideas are gone...only gone from me.
I liked the ending of this...did you mean "lay" in the last line?
This is quite an interesting narrative...there is a certain sadness that is almost overridden
by what she gave to others.
j.

[Amanda Renee]

Thank you for your review and insight- And thank you for the "Lay" instead of "Laid" tip- I was going back and forth with both. Your comment, "Sometimes I feel like my ideas are gone...only gone from me." made me smile because I can relate..., thank you again.

[emmajoygreen]

What to say! Pausing to let my breath and heart settle.

These words start to finish are emotionally superb. The way they have been laid for self and your readers are a true gift of how to.. write.

Leaving you a wrapped garland of white roses, Amanda

[Amanda Renee]

Thank you for your generous review. I was happy to come upon the Raven's Ink writing prompt for inspiration that connected my memory to a couple of people that I see on the to work almost everyday. Thank you again and thank you for your beautiful closing of your comment, and sending you back warmth and love...

[emmajoygreen]

take care of yourself.. look forward to reading more of your thoughts and words very soon.