Wasted

 

Maybe tomorrow, another day just wasted.

This feeling of remote cast away heart break.

These wretched thoughts are some thing

Of a minor key, some thing of a faulty chord.

 

The right sounds precise, while the wrong

Makes everything sharp, yet more than askew.

Moving on seems malevolent, maybe I should go?

Hide away, never try again? It sounds too pleasing. 

 

One more time: Maybe tomorrow, another day just wasted.

Reviews

[...]

At my youth I always try to avoid responsibilities by saying tomorrow is also day. I was fool and I was waster. I learn from my mistakes they make me who I am. Thanks for reminding me at this truthful poem.

[Michael Blair]

Broken in some spots, but overall a good piece; the opening and closing lines remind me of a song, "Got to Begin Again."

"I was dreaming of tomorrow
So I sacrificed today
And it sure was a grand waste of time."

[Yvonne Heidt]

It's staccato-style packs a punch. So, yes, it is a good example of writing in my opinion. Slams the reader with your emotion. That makes it good writing!

Great job.

[D.L. Simmons]

it's got a lot of passion, but it's covered with a blanket of disconnection.
try to make it flow more, and really communicate something specific. :)

[tony]

i love it. emotion is portrayed really well. and i can relate. its great. :)

[Perdition]

This one stumbles and staggers in all the right keys...Why would you ever "note" it as you did...It's wonderful..think I may be hooked..you have the proverbial finger on "it".

[NTR.*]

i enjoyed reading this.
it's a very well written piece.
:D

[RAWR!]

"Of a minor key, some thing of a faulty chord."
i really love that.

[Keiry<3]

Moving on seems malevolent, maybe I should go?

i like that line

i like this itself

last line fourth stanza i adive you to fix the type-o on pleasing

and i also loved the last line itself

the whole thing was awesome =]