One Man Battle

 

When you try too hard, every thing eventually blows up in your face. When you want every thing to be right, and nothing to seem askew, it all seems to turn the other way. You try to prove every one wrong, and you eventually end up on your back looking at a gray sky. They say life gets hard and that you have not give up; what happens if you've only seen a glimpse of the bright side? It taunts you. You want, you crave more, but it pulls away before you can touch it, live it. Are you to still keep striding towards some thing you will never have? Are you STILL supposed to be positive about every thing, yet not have any answer to work with? People tell you are wrong, that you are just not trying hard enough, but they don't know how hard you have worked to get where you are. You are on the  verge of losing every thing you have mustered up at this point, yet you keep holding on trying to tell yourself some thing good will come. It finally comes, but it's just life taunting you again, and you fall back down where you were weeks before, days before. You bow your head, and walk the other way, in search of that good again. You can't help but to feel remorse, pity for your own self. You keep fighting a war, a battle that you can't seem to win. You are out of ammunition, out of hope, and you are tired of wishing, tired of every one trying to tell you not to give up.

           So you get back up, gun in hand, and you go at it again. It seems like a habitual routine rather than an attempt. Some thing good comes along, but you are afraid to encounter it, yet you can't help but to crave it, want it like a well sought out treasure. You merge towards it with caution, and before you know it you are back to square one: giving up and falling down.

             This time you want to stay on that damp, cold, hard ground and say

"F**k the world!"

          But you want to get up, too. You want to prove every one, still. You've lost your gun, and your pride. You want one last attempt at some thing good, yet you are afraid of the out come. You can't help but to feel like a child in the dark, scared to touch any thing. All you want is to be like everyone else, or at least appear to be at their level. So, you stand back up, dust yourself off...

            And you go out there with a fake smile, and only your thoughts. Maybe this time the battle won't fight you, you will fight it. Just maybe you will find it in you to stay up with every ounce of hope left in you, and take a bow, stride up to the battle, and tell them all you are here to win; you aren't leaving until you succeed. You also want to turn around because it's easier to stay down and watch the battle rather than fight your own.

             Instead of craving love, happiness, passion; you crave pity, you crave lying back down and telling yourself you've tried many times, what's the point, now? It will all end up the same. You hear a voice tell you can never know until you try. You brush off the voice, and lay there, staring up at a once pure sky. Perhaps you've already tasted the worst, and these are the consequences of being you. Mishaps and tearing apart: you want to be left alone, but you want to be with the world, living.

"Once more, just once more. That's all my body can handle"

           And you walk into the battle debris:

"Tell the World I'm at it again."

        And you step into the battle again, a fake smile on your face, and only your thoughts as a weapon of defense.

Reviews

[Trinity]

This piece of writing is very strong and gives off a great vibe. When reading it I felt like you were describing my whole life. That you probably were, and all the lives of everyone else living in this world. This story here is the metaphor itself for living and it also shows how strong people actually are. They are given so many chances, many of them to give up and lay down their arms, but they don't. Instead they simply change their weapon and rush forward with a war-cry. They take on the world and battle it endlessly. Thank you for writing something so meaningful and deep. I love this piece very much.

[Tara]

Perdition sent me here and I am so glad he did. This is a wonderful write. An in depth emotional piece . "Tell the world i'm at it again". Love that. I actually think you can end the poem there because it is more powerful and because you already have that line above. (and on a technical note, change mustard to mustered) This reads like a journal entry. I really enjoyed it. I will read more of your work.

[nokturnal]

Very powerful piece, full of truth and emotion with a lot of determination. I really enjoyed reading this cause it gives me a glimpse of what I deal with on a day to day basis. Very great piece good job.