Something different

Jordan's challenge from the Poetry Challenge group

But for what reason should I have to submerge myself into vulnerability - you - when alone I can turn starry nights into dying lights and summon thunderstorms with the snap of my fingers?

I simply lust for company; although you only impair my vision with fractions of beauty and disaster, and I am left unable to distinguish one from the other, I am comfortable in living beyond the boundaries of norm. Held captive by an angel who basks in flesh, my flesh rots in eternal paradise.

And yet - I can no longer suppress the urge to set sail into your being, there is a fatal attraction here. I see tidal waves and lightning bolts, and blood in the water.. your beauty is disaster, and I am lost in it.

 

 

I cherish your tumultuous seas and I find myself lost in the breeze, in the froth of displeasure I am left to measure what I have done as a man. I can no longer wallow in the forgotten and be dashed on the rocks of despair. But I find you so captivating. The way your Nile River hair flows as the wind blows it to and fro. As a ship at sea, caught in a wave it flows across my mind. With eyes as bright as the sun, I am lost to eternity in the vastness of their depth.

My soul spun out into the starry night upon a casual manipulation of your disdain. You weave despair into my mind with dismissal in your eyes. But, then, you turn the tide of solar winds and bathe my heart with your smile.

rocked and tossed and tipped with the storm -- there is nothing I can do but surrender to the undertow, or drown inside this ocean that surrounds the you and me, salty tears of yesterday that fill today's history with doubt -- treading water, I take your hand, and swim to shore ...

Author's Note

The last part that is italicized is mine

Reviews

[MsJewel]

Love the use of metaphor and the images you have created....I take your hand, and swim to shore....the perfect ending!

:) Julie

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks, that is just my tiny part in this collaboration, I will be happy to see what Jordan does with it.

[Sami Khalil]

"My soul spun out into the starry night upon a casual manipulation of your disdain. You weave despair into my mind with dismissal in your eyes. But, then, you turn the tide of solar winds and bathe my heart with your smile."

My fave stanza in this excellent write...:)..........

[Lyn Anderson]

That would be MomzillaNC's contribution. Thanks for reading our collaboration.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome muchly...:)......

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome muchly...:)......

[Matching Socks]

Love it, very cool concept.

[Lyn Anderson]

I love the poetry challenge group. Thanks.

[MomzillaNC]

Oh wow! Really awesome close to this piece, KL! I especially love the last phrase: "treading water, I take your and, and swim to shore…" Brilliant close.

NOTE: I think the first word needs to be capitalized.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. I am assuming Jordan will format as he chooses.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

I think the formatting should be different for each set of lines; but maybe it could be done in a more uniform way. The only formatting that kinda bugged me was the underlining… :D

[Kenneth The Poet]

A stellar piece overall. Worth the stop if you ask me.

[Lyn Anderson]

I love the melding of minds in these pieces.

[Rene Salinas]

Oh I seem to have followed this process but still unsure to the representation so .... Only to say yours seems to be more internalized and more to do with the intertwining of humans while the original has an omnipotent feeling. Pretty hard to have been able to continued along that path. You have it with sollitude and union in fact quite the opposite from the lesser mortal impulse of the original.

Sounds interesting....


Thankyou

[Lyn Anderson]

In the end it always comes back to the self does it not? Even if it's you and your God at the pearly gates. Thank you.

[Rene Salinas]

Well a bit lost becuase I don't know about the challeenges so carefully commented on seems interesting.

[Jordan]

This is coming together even better than I had hoped. Thanks for contributing :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for the opportunity. I think the final outcome will be very good.

[Jordan]

I agree! .