Demoted

Originally written for the new 10 words I give contest, I took out the bold words for full effect

A hot July --

Despite the official stamp

on my independence papers,

You still manage to wage a battle

At every turn.

Setting off fireworks

to obfuscate your lies

When I turned the cannon on you

You spit fire,

Your rage in all its glory

No longer makes me blaze

Like it used to.

I ride my new Stallion often

And well.

You were demoted from special,

to general

A long time ago.

Go to hell.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Darian B.]

Dang, this was a super strong poem. I loved the lines "You were demoted from special/to general/A long time ago." There are so many undertones that can be read into with those lines and in the poem as a whole. Awesome read!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I highly recommend the 10 words I give challenge. It stretches the mind.

[James]

haha, a great big "F"-you to somebody. pretty cool way to do it with an independence 10 word challenge. Let go, moved on, better now, and screw you all in one poem.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, I really appreciate it.

[redzone]

yeah... smiling, jumping up and down happy cause KL is all fire and a blaze with independence... love your use of the words KL...

oh and about that Stallion, don't forget to let him drink enough water after riding him, then give him a good brushing down and feed him an apple before riding him again.... we are talking horses here right??!! KL??!! ;0)

redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

but of course. I don't know, I think this one might prefer beer.:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, but good, because what i am reading here is a letting go....you made me feel all of these negative emotions and now i am beginning to feel nothing at all....

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I appreciate that. I think the 10 words challenge was more relating to July 4, but ... I had to go with the muse.

[Wicahpi]

and the reason I make this contest ... to 'go with the muse' and see where it takes you! bravo

[Wicahpi]

A twist on Independence! Love!! Great use of all 10 words. I felt the fury as I read it. Well done! I like the 'spit fire' in your words. I think the message is beyond clear! Bravo .. Thank you for your entry into the 10 Words I Give contest.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. I missed the last deadline, but posted it anyway. I think yours is the best contest of this type.

[Wicahpi]

Aw, thank you! I'm glad to hear that you enjoy it. Happy Weekend!

[Papaya]

Fiction right? Smells like fiction. :)
I would say this is a super use of 10 words.
Have fun riding that new stallion. ;)

[Lyn Anderson]

yuppers darlin' -- and while horses need to be broken, I don't ride mine that hard, generally speaking, I just leave him a little winded.:)

[Papaya]

I hate you. It's true. When you talk like that, I hate you. :)
I don't even know why I'm smiling. Must be all that heat.

[Jon Roggie]

You don't want to break the spirit.