Me and myself

What do i do?
I listen to the silence around me.
I look at myself.
I look at me pushing everyone
Pushing them with all my strength.
I wonder why i feel this way.
Why i dont prefer any company
Yet feel alone.
I wonder why nothing fits
I know what to do,
But why can't i do that?
Why am i scared to be the person i can?
Why do i criticize everyone?
Maybe I'm afraid to change
Afraid to admit.
But i need to.
So how do i start?
Change has to begin somewhere.
Need to start when i have the chance.
I know i can do it,
But why am i not?
Because i keep questioning myself.
All i do is that.
That cozy corner which comforts me,
It's tough to come out.
My eyes are so used to darkness
They squint at even a small streak of light
I need you to pull me
Pull me out of this loop
And save me.
Until then what do i do?
Keep waiting for you to come?
No.
I stop.
I stop waiting for you.
Because you may never come.
So what do i do?
Stand up to myself.
And go back to being myself.