Life Piracy and a Guest Appearance

Last night I

gave in to my selfish,

pressed up against

some pungently boyish smelling

Peter Pan

flower child

Last night he

tasted like Kyle

back when I was still

madly in heat

back when I was

vulnerable and

un-ignorant, not- naive

15

and pretty

and pretty miserable

not all that much has changed,

save for the tally:

nineteen now,

at least I understand

just how naive I was (I am)

just how cruel

and foolish

and cracking;

a piece of the broken mason jar

that once held captive my spirit

now it's all this:

"I couldn't give a flying f**k

tonight"

and all that f**k-giving in the morning.

It's the disintegration of a moral compass,

the deregulation of Jiminy Cricket

who has not sat at the nape of my neck

since I mistook him for a regular cricket

and stomped the damn thing

with the heel

of my boot.

Reviews

[Gerald Parker]

Not sure about the wordy title.

[Gerald Parker]

Quite a lot of self-absorption in this, which is interesting but, from my perspective, it doesn't have enough imagery to move me. The ' mason jar' bit is good.

[Criss ;)]

your startin' n endin' both''ve walked together...what a nice one, hey, but i from here found that it's quite related with your real life, don't you think...?
yeah, i was readin' this piece then suddenly i got that this's a true one n this can happens inreal one too...so, you've dropped here some moments of your real life as i saw...

Your some stanzas are powerful with your all words, some're beautifully captured, some showed mirrors...some reflects light of reality... n so on.

I can't tell you, how i was feelin' when i was readin' it. I really did make views of your this piece alon' my readin'...it could b e an interestin' write...
yeah, you've got it...you made it from your deep thinkin', deep pennin'.
I think if you'll paste your this writin' on your blog post..then it could be a nice one with bloggin', n there then you can add some pics. n line to make it more bright to read as it is still.

from me for you 92.99/100

well written, today i've no words to say much more, but i wanna say "beautiful piece".
well penned, nice flow of ink....;)
have a nice writin's :)
take care ;)

[John]

Your first stanza is an incomplete thought, and the last stanza seems a little out of place. But, nonetheless, has the equivalent charm of a rusty, abandoned junkyard.

[Astro]

"Why don't you tell us how you really feel?" ; ) Interesting children's references to help describe your maturation and dissatisfaction at the time of writing this piece. |'m not too sure the Disney fans are gonna like it too much, but I did. Good poem.